Inspiring Works

Invitation to Follow

2010-08-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Dearest Followers,

You can now officially follow the blog from the website.

Thanks always for reading.

Celia

Moving Homes

2010-05-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Inspiring Works Blog has moved!

One For All

2010-05-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Have you ever noticed that the word "community" ends in the word "unity"? You probably have because it's rather obvious but I don't think I actually became aware of it myself until last year. I was looking to name an Inspiring Workshop for an NGO and suddenly realized that one was embedded in the other.

Pun intended. The word "unity", in fact, comes from the Latin unus, meaning "one". I have a friend who used to say, "We're all One," all the time. Whenever a coincidence happened or when something arrived full circle and we all went, "Wow," she would pipe in with, "We're all One." Well, we are!

Yesterday I was speaking with someone who said she'd been looking for a community in which to feel "a part of" for years. Last week I heard a woman say she never felt like she fit in anywhere. The experience of feeling "apart from" is more common than we think.

My whole life I felt like an alien. I was sure I'd been dropped on the wrong planet. You guys got it somehow and I didn't. Or, the opposite: I got it and none of you did. I felt isolated, different, separate.

Even though the mind will tell us that the cure for this kind of profound loneliness is isolation, we must not buy in. The cure is Community. The cure is Oneness with our fellows.

How to find the fellows with whom we can truly connect? First, we have to know who we are. How can I join a community of like-minded people if I don't know my Self? Self-discovery is a vital part of making that community connection.

For instance, I used to try to connect with the party crowd. It's who I thought I was. Bar-hopping, shot slamming, wild and crazy guys and gals. But aside from some drug-induced conversations that felt really deep in the moment I mostly just felt more alone than ever.

Time for a new crowd! I had to come to terms with the Truth: This is not who I am.

So who am I really? I am a person who has a desire to live a clean life, a spiritual life, a life of service and connection and Love. I am a person who believes in Higher Guidance. Once I connected with my true Self I could begin to connect with others like me.

Finding our fellows is not necessarily an easy task. It takes time and energy and a large dose of willingness. But those whom we seek are out there. Whenever I lead Cultivate Your Courage there is inevitably someone in the group who will say, "I can't believe I'm in a room full of people who live with fear the way I do."

Believe it. We're out here. Come and find us.

Inspiring Message of the Day: The cure for my loneliness is Community. I will continue on the path of Self-discovery so that I may begin to seek out like-minded people and find my place among them.

Why Don't You Try Acting, Dear Boy?

2010-05-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Have you ever experienced the magic of theatre? Seen a sheet transformed into a baby or an ocean, watched an inanimate object come to life with an actor's deft touch? There's nothing like it. This magic can transport us to other worlds. It can also serve as a wonderful reminder to keep it simple.

Next week, I'll be performing in Nakai Theatre's Homegrown Festival with a new show I'm developing called GITA: God in the Army. The piece is still very new and I'm going to present an excerpt, about 10 minutes.

For the set, I was planning on hanging a couple of chains from the ceiling with hooks on each end. Upon the hooks I would lay a bar to create a kind of trapeze. The trapeze would have a number of functions the primary one being a bar for doing chin-ups (or for attempting to do chin-ups).

This idea seemed simple enough. But it has been causing me some consternation. Gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta buy that, measure that, hang that, figure that out etc.

In rehearsal last night I was using the bar as a prop and because I don't have chains hanging from my own ceiling I held the bar above my head and acted as if I was pulling myself up in chin-up-style-fashion. It suddenly occurred to me that this maneuver was just as effective as having the bar actually secured by the chains.

One of the greatest things I've learned from coaching is that we are allowed to make things easier for ourselves. I come from a "make-it-harder" kind of family and thinking I need to take the more difficult path is an Old BS (belief system) that I've been letting go of for many years.

The new belief is about Being Gentle on myself. How can this be easier on me? What would take the pressure off? What can I do to simplify the situation so that I can relax?

So, dear friends, the chains are gone (good metaphor) and I'm gonna act the chin-up instead. Olivier would be proud.

Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am in a situation that feels overwhelming I will ask myself what I can do to keep it simple, make things easier and let go of pressure. I will allow the Gentle Road to be my Path.

Do the Do

2010-05-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

As I negotiate the murky waters of grief made even more so by the distance between me and the dearly departed I find myself searching for things to help me connect to the loss. Is there a song on the iPod that will bring the tears? A poem? A movie?

One of the most challenging things to do (at the best of times) is to stay present. I've got a couple of months of travel coming up at the beginning of June and it's incredibly tempting to future-trip my way to departing, traveling and returning back home in fantastical avoidance of the Here and Now.

"Life is a trip," is what I've been saying lately in reference to all that can happen in a day or a week. I honestly don't know how people do it, and by that I mean live, without a spiritual life. What sustains me, what keeps me going and fills me with hope and excitement and the willingness to keep moving forward is faith.

Faith in the Power that makes the grass grow, the sun shine and the wind blow. Faith in the Abiding Presence of this Power in the minutiae of our daily lives. Faith in Love, that inexplicable Energy that springs forth majestically in even the darkest of situations.

For me, this faith is not blind. It's not hoping. It's not wishing. It's practical and it takes work. It's practical because it makes me want to live fully and deeply, which is a heck of a lot better than wanting to die and I've been there done that. And it takes work because it requires prayer, meditation, demonstration and practice to bear fruit.

This blog, as I've mentioned before, is part of this faithful work. When I woke up this morning I was heavy with the burden of facing another day. Not wishing to stay in that place and being aware, at least on some level, of the incredible abundance in my life (making gratitude practically mandatory), I set about doing the things I needed to do to shift my thinking.

As I head toward completion of this post I have a lighter spirit, my energy is beginning to flow and I am feeling much more like do-ing the tasks at hand while be-ing in the present to do them.

The shift began with willingness on my part. "Despite my fear I am willing to move forward." From there I sought help from Higher Guidance. "Help me, take this day, show me. I'm small, I'm weak, I can't do it alone." Slowly but surely my energy has been restored, returning little by little as I do the next thing, take the next step, walk through the fear.

The rain falls steadily but I can see the Sun behind the clouds.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Life's a trip. An ever-unfolding adventure. When we forget this idea and it instead feels like a slog we can ask the Higher Power Back of All Things to support us and hold us up. It will carry us forward with steadfast Love.

Working Out the Bugs

2010-05-03T09:14:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

When I was a child growing up in the Yukon the wilderness was my backyard. Even though our house was in a proper neighbourhood there was nothing behind it but bush and mountains. My sisters and I had a tree fort and when that got boring we'd venture further afield by climbing the clay cliffs, exploring the forests and running along the hidden backcountry trails.

One of the telltale signs of spring in the Yukon is the crocus flower. With a hairy stem, purple petals and a yellow centre, this sturdy little soldier grows in clumps, pushing up from the ground in the most surprising places. "Haven't seen any crocuses yet," is an oft repeated remark by Yukoners around the end of April.

I have a vivid memory from my childhood of sitting on the slope of the clay cliffs behind our house on a spring day surrounded by an explosion of purple blooms. I remember picking one and examining it closely, admiring its fragile beauty. Upon closer inspection, however, I discovered the flower was crawling with teeny, tiny black bugs. Shocked and repulsed I threw it away as though it had stung me.

On a walk yesterday I saw the first crocuses of spring. A set of twins or triplets here, a clump of fifteen there, their lovely pale mauve and yellow faces shyly opening to the sun. I suddenly remembered the episode I just described and thought how apt a metaphor the story is for the duality of nature.

In everything there is beauty and there is ugliness.

Not that bugs are ugly for all you entomologists out there but humour me, will ya? The Duality of Nature: there is light and there is darkness, there is life and there is death.

As some of you know I am grieving the loss of my friend Leanne Coppen and so, admittedly, I've got death on the brain. The Big Questions are swirling around in my head. The only answer that brings me any peace is this one: The Great Mystery.

There are black bugs in the flowers. There is death in vibrant life. We must live fully every day knowing each side of the equation has its place in the Universe.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will embrace the duality of Life to the best of my ability. I will accept that being fully human means allowing both darkness and Light to enrich my experience.

Receiving and Giving Back

2010-05-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

This will be a short post today as I've committed to helping with a specific chore and time is running out with all I have to do this morning.

The chore is, in fact, a service. My upstairs neighbours have been kind enough to let me use their second vehicle for errands that require four wheels. In order to give back I have committed to helping them clean it so they can now sell it.

This service is really the least I can do. They wouldn't take my money and I believe in paying back. Sometimes we are given gifts and we need to accept them as such. But other times we are obligated to return the gift through selfless service. This is how we maintain spiritual balance.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will make good on any non-monetary debts I owe through service. I will give back by taking action in the appropriate way.

Web of Life

2010-04-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

It means so much to me that this blog is being read and that it is inspiring people. The more I embrace the world of social media the more I feel that Great Connection between us all.

It's amazing what the Internet has done to change our relationship to one another. As disconnected, disparate and distanced human beings all alone on our little islands we are now sharing instantly our common bond via the Web.

Each morning, before I post, I check out the blogs that are on my Reader's List. Each morning I check Leanne Coppen's blog Living with Breast Cancer. In yesterday's Inspiring Works post I told you that Leanne died. But today I still went to check her blog. I couldn't not. It's a ritual I'm not ready to let go of just yet.

What I found there amazes me. Comment after comment from Leanne's readers expressing sympathy, condolences, grief, joy, rage, gratitude and love. How many of us were brought together in this virtual community of compassion? Has there ever been anything in history that has connected people so immediately and with such depth as the World Wide Web?

Back in the late '90s there was a great pop song and music video by Jamiroquai called Virtual Insanity. It's a very catchy tune and really fun to dance to. The video was super innovative at the time. The lyrics are all about the total craziness that technology generates and how much of what we've invented is "not Nature's Way."

But for all the insanity that new technology breeds it also creates this unbelievable unity among us. We are truly a global community today because of blogs, Facebook, Twitter and the like. We may be taking it too far sometimes (I just read a great piece in The New Yorker about a guy who walks down the aisle, kisses his bride and later goes down on her in the honeymoon suite Tweeting all the while) we are also benefiting from its broad reach.

A couple of readers sent me messages yesterday thanking me for this blog, for sharing my life, letting me know my words "echo far and wide". This means more to me than I can say. Not because I'm being read by lots of people, though that does make me happy, but because I am a part of this marvelous web of strangers coming together as friends.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Despite the grief we feel, the losses we must bear, the seeming unfairness of certain circumstances, there is a Great Connection of which we are all a part. I can feel that Connection both here, in this virtual world, and here, in the centre of my heart.

Good-bye But Not Gone

2010-04-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I received a message announcing that my friend, Leanne Coppen, has died. She was living with cancer and fighting it with every cell in her body. Her blog, Living with Breast Cancer, often stood in for the Inspiring Message of the Day on this blog. She was full of hope and irreverent humour and inspired many, many people with her words.

Leanne and I went to high school together. At 16, Leanne could best be described as a hippie love chick. She had long hair, wore baggy sweaters and long pendants and her wrists and fingers were covered in bracelets and rings. She liked to smoke dope and talk about peace and love and so did I. We were good friends.

Leanne and I had many conversations about what we perceived as the f'd up state of the world and how Peace and Love were the only solutions possible. Once, we got into a deep discussion about currency. Why were there different currencies, we wondered? It's One Planet, One People. There should be One Global Currency, we decided. "A dollar is a dollar," we reasoned.

This became a mantra for all that we believed: A dollar is a dollar!

Leanne and I got our first tattoo together. She got a Sun on her lower abdomen and I just couldn't decide what to get. We sat in the tattoo parlour poring over pictures. She asked me questions, trying to help me figure out what I was looking for. I saw one of her pendants, hanging on a long chain from her neck. It was a Peace Dove. "That's it," I said. "This?" she asked, holding it up. We then held each others' hands through the pain of the tattoo needle.

Today, that Peace Dove, faded now, 22 years old, feels like Leanne on my shoulder.

One other memory stands out among many. I arrived at a party where Leanne was already waiting with a male friend of hers I had not met before. Upon my arrival, he looked at Leanne and said, "Yup." Later, when he was out of the room she said, "Before you got here I was telling him about you. He asked if you were pretty or beautiful. I said, "Beautiful." That's what his 'yup' was in response to."

Leanne, who was stunningly gorgeous and whose beauty both made me jealous and inspired me, thought I was beautiful! This was a defining moment in the Celia McBride self-esteem books, lemme tellya.

Once, my beloved friend Eden, who was and still is Leanne's best friend, said, in the typical stoner language of the day (well, we were stoned a lot of the time!), "Where did Celia man go?" Forever after I was Celia Mango to Leanne and Eden.

Last fall, Leanne and I re-connected. We had stayed in touch over the years and had seen each other probably every five years or so and it had been about that since the last time we'd got together. I emailed her to see if we could have a visit because I would be in Toronto. She emailed me back. "Celia Mango! How completely fantastic to hear from you!"

How I cherish those words now.

Leanne, you still feel really present. I've been talking with you since yesterday. Remembering, sharing, celebrating your life. Leanne, dearest, you introduced me to Goethe and you wrote as deeply as he did. Your words will be remembered, monuments will be erected in your name. Your legacy has only just begun. Believe it.

Inspiring Message of the Day: O Death. You take the body but not the Life. Sadness, grief, loss. All real, all necessary. But beyond those feelings is the Everlasting Spirit, the Indweller of all Beings, the Great Reality: Peace and Love. Therein lies our comfort.

Are You Okay?

2010-04-28T09:06:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Be careful what you pray for. We've all heard this expression. Pray for wisdom you get your butt kicked. Uh-huh. Pray for compassion. Oh boy.

Compassion is not something I'm completely lacking but in certain areas and with certain kinds of people I am less tolerant than I would like to be. The Judge Judy aspect of my personality isn't something I'm proud of but she's there. The good news is that I'm willing to work with her. I'm willing to change.

Lately, I have been asking Higher Guidance to teach me how to respond with compassion and to remove my lack of tolerance. Just when you think no one is listening, nothing is happening, no traceable movement is taking place, the ground shifts and splits open, revealing the Path.

I've been asking for my judgmental thinking to be removed. What happens? I get a pain in the neck. What does the pain in the neck do? It slows me down. It's a pain in the neck! It forces me to listen. It sends me right to the Source.

What do I "hear"? The pain in the neck is inflexibility. It's judgment.

So this morning, I go to the weekly morning meeting of Toastmasters. I'm scheduled to give a speech. I walk in. It's crowded. There's a seat next to a man I don't know. When I ask him if I may squeeze in beside him I get a smart aleck remark. My back goes up.

I sit down, turning away from him. I realize he's new so I force myself to introduce myself. He says, looking into my eyes, "Are you okay?" My back goes up even higher. I say, "Yes, are you?" His eyes are bloodshot. I smell liquor on his breath. I turn away.

My head starts working overtime, "Who is this clown? Drunk in the morning. Arsehole. Arrogant. Am I okay? I'm okay, what about him? Judge, judge, judge." I hear him say, "You may have just BS'ed me but that's okay."

My anger starts to boil. Then... wait a minute. What is going on here? I'm about to give a motivational speech. I'm about to inspire people, shine my Light. How can I do that when Judge Judy has taken over my body?

Something shifts. Who am I to judge this man? I am a clown. I've been drunk in the morning. I've been an arsehole. I am arrogant. I'm NOT okay. I've got a friggin' kink in my neck! This man, drunk or not, saw through me.

I soften. This is the Path. This is Higher Guidance giving me an opportunity to practice compassion. I asked for it. I got it.

So I started again. I welcomed this man to our meeting. I smiled at him. When I gave my speech I included him. I changed my feelings toward him.

Near the end of the meeting he touched my shoulder. "May I leave for a few minutes?" "Of course," I told him. Moments later, I saw him walking by the glass door that leads out into the hallway. He was using support canes. He's handicapped.

My God. Compassion? What about humility? This man was my greatest teacher, the embodiment of Higher Guidance, the answer to my prayer.

After he returned and the meeting was over I shook his hand and encouraged him to come back. "I live 110 miles away," he said. Of course he does. In which direction? Up, perhaps?

I told him it was good to see him at our meeting. "Thank you," he said, "And I hope you're okay."

I am now.

Inspiring Message of the Day: When we are willing to be changed the Benevolent Life Force Energy of Universe will respond in kind. We will be given what we need in the most gentle and loving Way. Higher Guidance is ever-present.

Brain Waves

2010-04-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

After taking a listening day yesterday I am feeling very calm and quite grounded. Taking the time to connect with the Higher Self has paid off.

One of the things I "heard" while I was sitting quietly seeking Guidance was "do your homework". Last week I had been given a little assignment by the woman who is my beloved Spiritual Director and I had yet to complete the task.

We had been talking about two conflicting sides of myself and she had suggested I put pen to paper and write the conversation between them using my right hand to represent one side and my left hand the other. Am I ambidextrous? No. I am right-handed. Writing with my left hand is like trying to walk with one leg. But I have done this exercise before and the results have been fascinating and life-altering each time.

The right hand is governed by the left brain. The left brain is logical and the right side of body is "male". The left hand is governed by the right brain. The right brain is intuitive and the left side of the body is "female".

At one point in my walk on the healing path I was doing some work around accepting my male energy, embracing my masculine self. I wrote the conversation between male and female, left brain and right brain, alternating between using my right hand and left hand.

After some back and forth banter, my Masculine Self wrote, "But you hold me in contempt," after my Feminine Self had written, "I love you more than anything. I worship you."

That was a revelation! Was it possible that I could revere the Male while still holding men in contempt? Certainly it was. This discovery was a turning point for me and I began to actively practice loving and accepting my own maleness. Not long after this I chopped off all my hair.

So yesterday's conversation between Logic and Intuition also turned up some eye-opening instructions. I won't share them here as I'm still processing exactly what they mean and I'm not on the other side just yet. Needless to say, this is an exercise that I highly recommend to anyone who is seeking Guidance and feels stuck.

The left-brain/right-brain experience is most beautifully described by Jill Bolte Taylor, who had a stroke and was forced to experience Right Brain Living when the left side of her body shut down. If you haven't watched her TED talk, I leave it with you now. Set aside 20 minutes and watch this. It's phenomenal and seriously inspiring.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Jill Bolte Taylor's Stroke of Insight.

Shhhh

2010-04-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

The last blog I posted was about taking the time to look at the world around us. Looking is vital to our practice of Be-ing. What about listening?

Last week I got a kink in my neck. I breathed through the pain, did positive affirmations, refused to give it power and it went away. Two days later it came back.

Because I believe in and practice metaphysics, I adhere to the idea that there is something deeper going on with this pain in my neck. What is "a pain in the neck" in my life right now? That's the obvious question. No real obvious answer, though. Other than taxes.

Okay, take a break from doing the taxes. Thanks for the permission. Is there something more? I went to Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life to find out her thoughts on the deeper meaning behind neck pain.

Please keep an open mind about this. I have to. I take some things Louise says with a grain of salt. For example she corresponds an ingrown toenail with "worry and guilt about your right to move forward." Yah.

Anyway, according to Louise's "List", the neck represents flexibility and neck pain correlates to inflexibility. So where am I being inflexible? I went through all the things in my life and couldn't really find a solid answer.

Perhaps I'm not seeing it, perhaps it's not there. Either way, I am not hearing a clear, definite response.

I once heard someone say that prayer is asking for Higher Guidance and meditation is listening for It. This morning, in prayer, I realized that is precisely what I need to do today.

So I've committed to doing a couple of things that cannot be put off until tomorrow but the rest of the to-do list is going to have to wait. I'm going to take the day to listen.

Inspiring Message of the Day: What am I not hearing? Today I will take the time to get quiet and listen. I trust that in the Silence I will be given what it is I need to hear.

Swan-ee, How I Love Ya

2010-04-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

When I got up this morning I happened to look out the window and way up high in the blue, blue sky I saw a "V" of swans flying in perfect formation. The rising sun was hitting their undersides turning their whiteness to shining gold. It was such a gift!

We never know what we'll see if we take the time to look. This idea reminded me of a man I once met who had been walking with his head down one day and found twenty bucks. This, he said, had taught him to always keep his head down. "If you keep your head down," he'd told me, "You never know what you'll see."

I remember thinking this was a little bit backward. "Keeping your head down" can mean "to do or say as little as possible in order to avoid problems or arguments" (Free Dictionary) but it can also indicate low self-esteem. I thought this guy was denying himself the feeling of personal power that can come from walking with head held high.

But perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps it doesn't matter where we are looking as long as we have our eyes open. We can have our heads down and find money or our heads up and see signs of summer approaching. Head down or up, it's our eyes that see the Light.

Seeing those swans this morning brought me back to the Reality of Being. I was about to head into the day, guns blazing, attack the "to do" lists with gusto but there they were, those graceful birds calling my attention, stopping me, landing me in the present moment, reminding me of what is truly important: Beauty, Presence, Joy.

Inspiring Message of the Day: We can never be reminded too often to stop, open our eyes and see the world around us. Today I will practice this process of continuing to land in my body, land in my life, land in the Power of Be-ing.

Sing the Song of Thy Self

2010-04-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday was Earth Day and although I think everyday should be Earth Day it is still a good thing to dedicate a single day to the cause of honouring our fair planet. It was inspiring to see, hear and read about all of the activities going on in the name of caring for this great ball of miracles and mysteries we call home.

I went to join a community of folks taking part in a yoga class and a meditation and chanting circle. During the meditation portion we were asked to send out loving energy, if we wished, to a particular person or place. As we sat in silence, the leader read us some inspiring text which included words like, "May we be free of danger, may we have mental and physical happiness."

These words reminded me of a song I learned this past winter while on retreat at The Naramata Centre. I've been singing it over and over in my head since last night so I thought I'd share it with you.

May I be filled with Loving Kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy

The next verse is a wish for the Other:

May You be filled with Loving Kindness
May You be well
May You be peaceful and at ease
May You be happy

Then comes the version for all of Us:

May We be filled with Loving Kindness
May We be well
May We be peaceful and at ease
May We be happy

And the last verse brings it back to the individual in the form of an affirmation:

I am filled with Loving Kindness
I am well
I am peaceful and at ease
I am happy

The tune is very childlike and quite pretty. I wish I could sing it for you. Then you, too, could get it stuck in your head.

Inspiring Message of the Day: In the hustle and bustle of this day I will take a moment to recognize the amazing world around me. When I connect to the Reality of Being I am filled with Loving Kindness and I am happy.

Thanks Be To Gladys

2010-04-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Last fall, I blogged about a conversation with a friend who told me about a film called The Inn of the Sixth Happiness starring Ingrid Bergman as a missionary in China. My friend shared a courageous quote from the film with me and I've used it a lot ever since.

Last weekend I was poring over the DVD's at the local library and guess what I found? The Inn of the Sixth Happiness. Of course, I had to get it.

Well, if you've already gone back to read the earlier post, you'll see that I called the film a "B-movie that nobody saw". Not exactly true. It wasn't a B-movie at all. It was nominated for an Oscar and a number of other awards and was largely hailed at the time of its release.

Another interesting point to correct is the quote my friend had shared. She remembered it as, "Yes, open the door." In fact, when the guard asks the Bergman character if she is afraid she says, "Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate." Same diff but worth mentioning anyway.

What is the sixth happiness? Bergman's character, Gladys Aylward, also wants to know. According to the woman who Gladys asks, another female missionary, the Chinese believe there are five happinesses: wealth, longevity, good health, virtue and a peaceful death in old age. Gladys' mentor then goes on to say that each person decides in her own heart what the sixth happiness is.

Gladys Aylward was a real person. She was devoted to serving her God and gave her life to the Chinese people in myriad ways, including helping nearly one hundred orphans of war trek through dangerous mountains to safety. But at the end of the film Gladys gives up her devotion to service as well as the loving children she's adopted to go back to a man with whom she's fallen in love. Her sixth happiness is romantic love.

Now, it's not impossible for a person called by Higher Love to change her mind and follow the path of Romantic Love. But it's a pretty radical shift so I did a little bit of research to find out if Gladys really did give up selfless service for marriage. Guess what? She did not.

I found this quote in an online biography:

"Please note that although Inn of the Sixth Happiness is a well-produced, heartwarming movie starring the great actress Ingrid Bergman it was a thorn in the side of Gladys Aylward. She was deeply embarrassed by the movie because it was so full of inaccuracies. Hollywood also took great liberties with her infatuation with the Chinese Colonel Linnan, even changing him into an Eurasian. But Gladys, the most chaste of women, was horrified to learn the movie had portrayed her in 'love scenes'. She suffered greatly over what she considered her soiled reputation."

Can you imagine seeing your life portrayed in a major Hollywood film and the life they portray is actually not your own? Talk about having to "let go and let God!"

All this to say that Gladys Aylward, the real Gladys Aylward, is now on my list of Inspiring Teachers. It might have been the writer of The Inn of the Sixth Happiness who gave us, "Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate," but it was Gladys who inspired her to write it.

Inspiring Message of the Day: We can look for inspiration in those Great Teachers who have blazed the trail before us. When I am fearful I will remember their stories and use their courageous example to spur me on.

Halfway There

2010-04-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Today marks the official halfway point of my commitment to blog six days a week for one full year. I don't know why but it feels like I should be celebrating. It's a milestone, to be sure.

For those of you who don't know, this blog was started for a couple of reasons. The first was that I had just seen "Julie and Julia", the film about the gal who blogs each day as she journeys through Julia Child's cookbook. The second reason was that the cat I live with woke me up at 5 a.m. and when I prayed for help not to kill him the Still Small Voice whispered, "Start a blog."

Posting six days a week has its challenges and I'll be honest, sometimes I resent the fact that I've made this commitment to myself. I've often considered reneging but somehow can't bring myself to give up. Besides that, I do like it. A lot. And it helps me. I can be in a foul mood when I start writing and by the time I'm done the irritability has dissipated and I'm truly inspired.

Knowing that I have faithful readers certainly helps. I noticed I lost a follower recently and that was a bit of a sad moment but I receive comments through email and in person and your positive feedback keeps me going.

Apologies for the road block on the comments. I put it there because I got a spam-like comment that linked to a porn site. I'm presently building a new website and am trying to figure out how to transfer the blog over to the site so that people will be able to freely leave their comments each day. I so enjoy getting them and hope to make this happen soon.

Overall, the purpose of this blog is inspire me and you to walk through our respective fears, cultivate courage to achieve our goals, and explore the adventure of our own lives. It is a little bit of experience shared and hope delivered. In the words of the great E.M. Forster, it is a way to "connect, only connect."

Inspiring Message of the Day: We are not alone. We are all in this together. Thank you to the Internet, that mad, exciting forum of the present and the future, for bringing us all together.

Angelic Intervention

2010-04-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Do you believe in angels? That is to say, have you ever had an encounter with a person who appeared just when you needed him to and who told you just what you needed to hear?

A couple of weeks ago, on Easter Sunday, I went to the Anglican Church in Dawson City. I like to go to church on Easter. It feels like an appropriate thing to do. I like the singing and the children running around and I like the sense of community.

What I'm not crazy about is the Resurrection story being told as historical fact. I can dig the Bible stories as metaphors but I've done a lot of reading about the historical significance of these stories and they were never, ever meant to be taken literally.

So I'm sitting in church listening to the minister tell me that the story of the empty tomb is historically true and I'm getting madder and madder and I just want to leave or shout something like, "It's a metaphor, dude!" but I know I can't do that so I began to pray instead.

"Help me to have tolerance for these people. Help me to have compassion. Help me. Help me. Help me."

The time came for communion. I'm not baptized and so I stayed in my seat. A man who was sitting in front of me turned around to talk to me while the rest of the congregation filed up to the front. Apparently he was not going up either.

This man had looked back at me a couple of times at the beginning of the service and though I'd smiled at him I had judged him, too. He looked rough, bloodshot eyes, missing teeth, raggedy clothes. I thought, "He's a broken down alcoholic."

He asked me where I was from and I told him. He began to tell me a bit of his story. He spoke of his grandparents, both dead now, who'd lived into their 100's, whom he'd cared for in their final years. He told me about life in the bush and living on the land, the wisdom of his elders and the gifts they had given him. Moved by his kindness, my heart cracked open and eyes filled with tears.

He said, "If the Sun sent us a heating bill we'd all be in debt."

As the service resumed he turned around and faced the front. The light from the giving Sun shone through the stained glass and lit the room anew. The music swelled, filling the whole place up with life. I stood up to sing with the people I'd previously judged. We sang as one.

When I told this story to a friend recently she said, "You met an angel." Angel or man, he opened my heart. I was moved from anger and judgment to love and compassion. I has asked for help and immediately received it.

The real point of the Resurrection story and this story, too, is that there is something Greater at work. There are things that happen that we cannot explain. There is a Power that responds to our needs. This Power is Love.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Yes, I'm actually going to quote ABBA for the IMD: "I believe in angels. Something good in everything I see. I believe in angels. When I know the time is right for me."

Not so Dull

2010-04-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Over the weekend I was speaking with a friend who has a lot going on in her life right now. After telling me about a particularly intense experience I said to her, "Never a dull moment."

Her response to my statement was, "It would be good to have a dull moment or two around here," to which I said, "Yup, we have to welcome the dull moments."

Not everyone may have a the kind of life which necessitates inviting dull moments to come in but for those of us that are overachievers, perfectionists, workaholics, busy bees, or stimulant junkies it's a pretty sound piece of advice.

It took shingles for me to learn how to welcome the dull moments. For those of you who aren't familiar with shingles, it's a viral disease, the same one as chickenpox, and it travels through the nervous system, bursting through the skin in a painful rash of blisters.

When I was diagnosed, I was told there are three causes: age, compromised immune system and stress. Since I was in my early thirties and my immune system was healthy I had to accept that stress was the reason I now had what felt like small knives stabbing repeatedly into my back.

Because shingles can recur, my body now has a built-in stress-reducer. If I don't ever want to experience the pain of those blisters again, and believe me I don't, then I need to be careful about how much stress I invite into my life.

The key word in that last sentence is "invite". What I learned from the shingles experience was that I was actually creating the experience of chaos in my life. It wasn't happening to me. I was making it happen.

This was a big wake-up call. Not easy to accept at first, certainly, but once I did I could then begin to make the necessary changes.

The biggest change was learning how to welcome the dull moments. Learning how stop, to rest, to say no to things that caused stress or burn-out or exhaustion. I learned about self-care in a whole new way. Today, my well being comes first, period.

Admittedly, I do not do this perfectly. I can still tend toward workaholism and over-stimulation but I am light years away from where I was when those blisters burst on my back and said, "Celia, we need a break."

Thank goodness they did and thank goodness I listened.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will welcome the dull moments. In the dull moments the Silence awaits us. In the Silence there is Peace. I deserve this Peace.

Free and Easy

2010-04-17T10:33:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

How spontaneous are you? Can you change your plans in a heartbeat? Do something wild and daring at the drop of a hat? Make a decision on the fly without knowing whether it's really the right thing to do? If so, I admire your spontaneity.

The dictionary on this computer describes "spontaneous" as "having an open, natural, and uninhibited manner." It also says that spontaneity "occurs as a result of a sudden inner impulse without premeditation."

Although I like to think I have an open, natural and uninhibited manner the reality is I have a pretty regimented schedule, which contrary to the way it sounds, brings me maximum wellness. I need to be vigilant with my time in order for my spiritual and emotional health to remain in alignment.

What this means is that I'm not the most spontaneous gal on the block. When I run into someone on the street and they say, "How about going for a coffee?" my answer is usually, "Can't right now. Email me and we'll set something up." Scheduling ahead of time is the best I can do. And it works.

Most of the time. Because vigilance has its downside. When vigilance becomes rigidity we're in control-issue territory and its probably best to mix it up a little. Throw caution to the wind and break free. Let go and let spontaneity in. Take a walk on the wild side.

Yesterday a friend asked me to go for coffee with her. She had just given me a lift to the bank and suggested we go to the cafe across the street and catch up. It had been a while since we'd spent any time together, the sun was shining and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to hang out.

Internally, my first response was, "Oh no, I can't." But then I realized that, in fact, I could. There was nothing I had to do that couldn't wait. The only thing stopping me was... fear.

Fear of what? Oh, I don't know. Changing my schedule. Fear of socializing or being seen. Fear of lattes. Whatever! Fear is illogical and ridiculous. It doesn't make any sense. But it keeps us from living a full life and it will make our decisions for us if we let it.

So I said "yes". Pretty wild, I know. But I could think of no good reason to say "no" other than it felt more comfortable than saying yes. So I did the uncomfortable thing. I changed my plans in the moment. I acted spontaneously!

My friend and I ended up having a really good conversation. I think we were both able to process a number of things going on in our respective lives. And it was fun! I know, fun, what a concept.

At the end of our time together I thanked my friend for asking me to join her. She thanked me for being spontaneous. Open, natural, uninhibited. That's me. On a good day.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice doing the thing that takes me out of my comfort zone. Today I will respond with spontaneity to something new that comes my way.

Define Fearless

2010-04-16T09:32:00.003-07:00

Dearest Readers,

You may recall reading in a past blog that one of the visions I have for my life is to become fearless. I have only really ever heard of one person described as having achieved this seemingly ideal state of being, and that was Swami Vishnu-devananda. It is he that has always inspired this vision in me.

Swami Vishnu, or Swamiji as he is affectionately known to his followers, came to the West from India at the urging of his guru, Swami Sivananda, and started the Sivananda Yoga Vendanta Centres, which now have ashrams and yoga studios all over the world. A robust and smiling man, Swamiji created the Yoga Teachers Training Course, which I took in 2003, with the vision to develop messengers of peace.

Whenever I think or hear or read about fearlessness, I think of Swamiji. I don't know if he really was fearless because I never met him. I just remember one of his students describing him as "absolutely fearless" and I have never forgotten it. The concept awes me.

Yesterday I picked up a book I borrowed from the lending library at Hospice Yukon Society called Facing Fear, Finding Courage -- Your Path to Peace of Mind by Sarah Quigley with Marilyn Shroyer, PH.D. I had just signed the book out the day before, when I'd stopped in to return another book that had been passed on to me back in February.

When I went into Hospice Yukon I had no intention of getting another book but the woman there was so kind and so helpful that when she encouraged me to look in their library I took it as Higher Guidance. When I saw the Quigley/Shroyer book I thought it would be a good reference for the upcoming Cultivate Your Courage workshops I'll be leading on May 29 in Whitehorse and in June at the Sivananda Yoga Retreat in Paradise Island, Bahamas.

When I got home and began to flip through the book these were the very first words I read: "Stop striving to become fearless."

Stop? Striving to be fearless? Really?

Here's why they think so: "No book, workshop, or pep talk will make all our fears vanish. Sometimes we have to go on living with fear because it's based on realistic concerns."

The authors then go on to describe things that would naturally make a person afraid like your daughter going missing or being alone for the first time. Makes sense, right? These are realistic concerns.

"Keep reminding yourself how courageous you are to keep facing your fears" is the sentence that ends the paragraph. I like that. Courage isn't the absence of fear it's the willingness to go through it.

Okay, so I get that fear is a natural part of being human and that if I run into a rattlesnake I'm going to be afraid, but what about striving to be fearless around unrealistic concerns? The fear of failure/fear of success concerns or the fear of being disliked concern?

Those kinds of fears are the ones that I'm seeking to be free of on this life's journey. Those fears are not based on realistic concerns at all. They're based on Old Belief Systems (Old BS) that are no longer working. Can't I still strive to become fearless in that way?

As a coach I'd say, "Of course you can. You can do whatever you want." But what this book is talking about is accepting fear as a natural part of being human. Accepting fear and learning to live with it is the real freedom we're seeking because that acceptance is what will finally free us from being controlled by our fear.

Perhaps Swamiji would agree. Perhaps he still had fears that his disciples didn't see. Perhaps he wasn't as fearless as people thought. He was still human, after all.

Maybe being rid of fear is not the goal. What if we were to define fearlessness as "facing your fears head on"? If that were the case then the vision of fearlessness does not seem so far off. In fact, it feels downright happening now.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I am willing to accept that I will never be rid of certain fears. However, I will continue to strive for freedom from the fears that bind me to suffering and keep me from experiencing the fullest life possible.

Help is on the Way

2010-04-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Recently I was a part of a sharing circle for women who are struggling with trauma and addiction issues. One of the tools we discussed was "asking for help". Most of us agreed that asking for help is anathema. Too hard, feels gross, forget it I'm not doing it.

It's not easy for a person who has been hurt to ask for help because the fear of rejection is huge. Our trust issues can keep us from doing the one thing that will bring us relief. Saying "I need help" is probably the fastest way to change the situation but also the most terrifying.

When I was in high school I was directing a play and needed to move a set piece onto the stage. It was way bigger than I could handle but did I need help? Help no! I hauled it and pushed it and nearly broke my back moving it to where I needed it to go. Success! But wait. Oh no! In the process I had scraped the heck out of the stage floor.

Our drama teacher came before the class and asked the person responsible for the damage to step forward. No one did. I wrestled with the guilt. Finally, I went to him and confessed. He was very forgiving, probably because I'd stepped forward to tell the truth. He'd wanted to know why I hadn't just asked someone to help me move the damn thing?

Good question. If the thought occurred to me at the time I don't remember. Likely I didn't want to bother anyone (people-pleaser), or I was afraid of appearing weak (ego-driven) or I simply thought I could do it alone (false pride). Regardless, I ruined the floor and learned a good (hard) lesson.

One of the gals in the sharing circle who had been through extreme trauma in the form of sexual abuse volunteered to share her feelings with the group. She opened up, probably for the first time, and told us what she was going through. Lots of fear, anger and shame came up but lots of hurt, too, and great sadness. Although she didn't actually say, "I need help," she was, in a way, asking for it just by telling us what was in her heart.

That's where it begins. Telling the truth about ourselves from our hearts. This is how I'm really doing. This is how I really am. Will you help me? From there asking for help to move the furniture becomes second nature.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice telling the truth about myself from my heart. I will practice asking for help when I need it.

Walk Through This

2010-04-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

As some of you know, my friend Leanne is fighting for her life right now, battling Stage 4 breast cancer that has moved into her lungs and is not responding to traditional treatments.

Her blog, Living with Breast Cancer, is worth following not only for its inspiring message but for Leanne's irreverent humour and acerbic wit.

Below is a link to an orientation video from the Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation about the “Weekend To End Women’s Cancers”, which Leanne participated in last year. She comes in around the 6-minute mark looking gorgeous in a black floppy hat.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ej5SRg5j0o

The Sixth Sense

2010-04-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

What is your opinion of ESP?

Here's a little background info from Wikipedia:

Extrasensory perception (ESP), also commonly referred to as the sixth sense, involves reception of information not gained through the recognized physical senses but sensed with the mind. The term was coined by German psychical researcher, Rudolf Tischner, and adopted by Duke University psychologist J. B. Rhine to denote psychic abilities such as telepathy and clairvoyance. ESP implies acquisition of information by means external to the basic limiting assumptions of science.

Yesterday I had what can only be described as an ESP experience. It's not the first time in my life something like this has happened but it was so extreme that I just have to share it with you.

On my way to a friend's birthday party I passed a little house nestled in the commercial part of the downtown core. Twenty years ago I knew the woman who lived there. We weren't really well acquainted but we did hang out a few times and I remember liking her very much.

I have passed that house many times and think of her every time I go by it but yesterday it looked as though someone had cleaned up the yard and so the property caught my particular attention. It was almost... glowing.

This is what I thought as I went by: "There is where Lorna used to live. I wonder where Lorna is today. I wonder if she still lives in Whitehorse. I wonder if I'll ever see her."

From there I remembered one of the wild nights Lorna and I had spent together partying in a bar and picking up a cowboy who walked us both home, first her and then me. (I also remembered that cowboy trying to convince me to let him come inside but that's another story.)

Not long after this trip down memory lane I arrived at my friend's birthday celebration. There were quite a few people there and I didn't know everyone. I had another meeting that afternoon so I had to duck out early. On my way out I ran into a woman at the door. As I excused myself I looked at her face.

It was Lorna.

Reception of information not gained through the recognized physical senses but sensed by means external...

Means external. Far... out.

Inspiring Message of the Day: The mystical path involves having experiences that go way beyond the intellect. When I am bogged down by reason and logic I will remember that there is a deeper place of understanding available to me and I will open to receive its messages.

Queen For(ever) a Day

2010-04-12T11:07:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Home sweet home after an 11-day journey. The house-sitter filled the apartment with flowers and ironed my pillowcases. Never in my five-year history of using house-sitters have I ever come home to such graciousness. I feel like a Queen.

That must be why I dreamt about the Queen last night. Yes, the Queen. Elizabeth II of England, the current monarch whose face appears on our Canadian money.

In the dream, she and I became pals, riding to the grocery store together in her royal coach, talking about the house she stayed in the last time she was in Whitehorse (in the late '50s) and why the Royals are so popular in the NWT (when I was in that great Territory last year Royal fever was everywhere).

It wasn't exactly easy making small talk with Her Majesty. I was trying to be myself as well as respectful, which made for an uncertain sense of being, but in the end we managed to cobble together a decent conversation as we headed for the Extra Foods store down the road.

I'm thinking the dream has to do with self-worth. Some of the wind was knocked out of my sails last week and it's been a steady helm back to full speed ahead ever since. Arriving home last night to find the apartment looking and feeling like a 5-star hotel brought up the question, "Do I deserve this?"

The good news is I think I do. The even better news is I think you do, too.

I don't think I deserve abundance because I'm special or different or working so much harder than anyone else. I believe we deserve abundance because we are Queens and Kings, all of us.

The Queen of England is no better or worse than any of us. She doesn't deserve her riches any more than we do. She doesn't NOT deserve them either. Every single one of us, no matter who we are, no matter what we look like, no matter what we do or don't do, say or don't say, deserves the kind of riches afforded to royalty.

Now, you might think I'm talking about castles and jewels and great wealth. I'm not. Well, I am. But metaphorically speaking. The riches we deserve are Unconditional Love and Abundance. Unconditional Love and Abundance are the birthright of every single person that enters this little planet we call Earth.

How do I know this? By what authority can I make this statement? By Divine Authority. That's right. Celia McBride, D.A.

Try something. Set yourself on a rigorous path of healing to free yourself of the shame that keeps you bound to fear. Embark on a spiritual journey that involves prayer and meditation. Each day, make it your practice to seek the Highest Wisdom that is within you. Listen for the Truth. You, too, will come to know It.

Divine Authority is not for the "chosen" few. You know that expression "Many are called, few are chosen"? There's a better version: "All are called. Few choose to follow."

Choosing to follow the Divine leads to a deeper understanding of who we really are. We are Royal, in every sense of the word.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I am a Queen. I am a King. The riches of Unconditional Love and Abundance are my birthright. Today I will accept them knowing this is the Highest Truth of All.

Road Work Ahead

2010-04-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

It's amazing what can happen in an instant. All of a sudden you're going along, moving forward, doing the footwork to manifest your vision and WHAM! something blocks your way.

Yesterday I was in a meeting with a funding organization who has been supporting the making of a feature film I have in development. During the meeting, one of my biggest advocates admitted that she doesn't like the new version of the script. She liked the old version. She wants me to go back to the old version. The version I just spent five months re-working with a story editor.

I have to say, I handled the situation very well. Not too long ago I think I would have shrunk like a violet, backpedaled, and said whatever I could to please her. But I didn't. I was calm, I maintained a sense of authority as the author, and I made valid points to contradict her arguments.

But I left the office in shock. I got on the bus, which took me over the Burrard Bridge and got off on the other side in a daze. It had been a long week that had begun with five days of the Dawson Film Fest followed by three days of meetings in Vancouver. I was worn out.

So I began to cry. I've blogged before about crying as a healing tool, as a necessary part of the process of change, growth and self-empowerment. Knowing I was just releasing energy that had been building in the form of tension and expectation enabled me to let the tears come. I leaned against a big ol' tree for support and felt my feelings.

When the flow of emotion stopped, I moved on, heading back to the place where I was staying to pack and depart on the next leg of the journey, which has brought me to Summerland for a conference. In addition to the cry, I sent an email about the experience to a couple of people who are supporting the project and looked ahead to determine my next steps.

In short, I allowed myself to feel, I shared with others and then I let it go.

So today, though I am focused on other things and that helps, I feel quite surrendered about what might or might not happen next. Having faith means trusting that whatever comes down the pipe can be interpreted as Higher Guidance. Prayer and meditation will now assist in bringing further clarity and help determine my next steps.

I'll keep you posted.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to interpret "road blocks" as part of the puzzle of the journey ahead. I will practice interpreting everything that happens to me as sign posts on the road map to my Highest Good.

Look Around

2010-04-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Today I leave Vancouver and head to a conference in Summerland. Don't you just love the name of that place? A land where it is always summer. That is probably not the case but the image is sure nice.

I've been inspired by so many things these last few days. There was a great line in a movie made in the eighties called Wall Street that went something like, "There are eight million stories out there." The guy who said it was referring to the people of New York.

Here in Vancouver, there may only be 2 million people but that is still a lot of stories and a lot of things going on.

For instance, the woman I'm staying with went to an event hosted by the Feminist Historical Society last night. This is a group of woman who are committed to writing the history of feminism in Canada because guess what? It hasn't been written yet.

I myself attended a film industry mixer and met all kinds of different people. One of them was a man who is one of the top gaffers in the city but has a dream of directing his own screenplay one day.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has a dream. Sometimes, when I'm in the Big City, I stop, look around and observe people one by one, taking them in as I say, "That person has a full life, that person has a full life..." and so on. It reminds me that I am not the centre of the universe.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Inspiration is all around us all the time. Every moment we are awake there is something to notice, something to see, something to remind us of the profundity of being alive. Look around!

Love vs Zombies

2010-04-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Whenever I come to Vancouver (or any other Big City) I like to take in some kind of artistic experience, be it a play, a tour through an art gallery or an excellent film. This particular trip has coincided with TREMORS: a new generation of contemporary theatre, by Rumble Productions and the last couple of nights I've been to two of the plays.

The first one, I'm So Close created by Why Not Theatre, dealt with love and the end of the world. The second one, Cozy Catastrophe by Theatre Melee, dealt with the end of the world and... fear. Interesting mix.

Where does our obsession with the end of the world come from? Why do films like The Day after Tomorrow and 2012 rake in millions of dollars? What is it all about?

In the case of the first play I saw it was more about our need to ask deep philosophical questions. The Universe is expanding. One day it will expand so much that it will cease to be. What's the point? The story explored the idea that Love makes the meaningless of it all somehow meaningful.

The second play I saw was about aliens and zombies taking over the world. Scared, selfish and, frankly, stupid people try to figure out how to survive. They don't do a very good job. It was a disaster play. Funny but ridiculous. It was about entertainment, pure and simple.

Because we don't have the answer to the Big Question, which is "What are we doing here?", we will naturally try to figure it out. This is the nature of the human mind. Some of us will ponder the human condition and find hope in the answer (Love) and others will make fun of our situation and find no hope (Zombies Rule).

There was a time in my life when I was afraid to have hope. If I have hope, I reasoned, I will be disappointed, I will be hurt, I will be vulnerable. It's easier to not believe in anything, to say, "Who cares?" and live accordingly. But it wasn't easier. It was harder. It was more painful, more disappointing, more scary.

Today the hope that I have comes from faith. Faith in Love. Faith that despite the Universe's expansion and inevitable demise (according to the play it will happen in 150 billion years, which is the approximate age of our current Universe -- we're halfway there -- goes by quick, no?) there is a Higher Power and this Power knows us because It is Us and We Are It.

Not everyone has to agree with me. We're all on our own individual journey. All I know is that I was guided to this faith. I didn't create it. It was given to me, shown to me through events and circumstances that were beyond my human control. And that is what continues to feed my own Hope for humanity.

Like the song says, "It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine."

Inspiring Message of the Day: Do I have hope? Do I believe in the Power of Love to overcome all obstacles? If not, why not? What is holding me back from having faith in Higher Guidance? Today I will ponder these questions in search of the deepest answers.

Riding the Bus of Life

2010-04-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

The city of Vancouver feels a lot quieter now that the Olympics have left town. There are signs everywhere indicating that the mammoth event did, in fact, take place here, but the incredible buzz that existed during that time is gone.

What has remained, however, beyond the advertisements and the architecture and the infrastructure, is the connection between the people, the conviviality, and the sense of familiarity that comes when folks have shared something special and so cease to be strangers.

When I was here in February in the very midst of the Olympic frenzy, I blogged about this connectivity because the experience was so heartening. I remember posting on Facebook something like, "The Olympics is making people talk to each other on the bus! No one talks on the bus!"

Well, that's how I know that the city has undergone a true transformation. The global party has changed Vancouverites in an enduring and lasting way because yesterday, on the bus, a woman not only spoke to me but practically became my new best friend.

Although I've become more and more familiar with this city I'm still not totally sure of how to get from A to Z. I got on the bus last night heading to my destination without a really clear idea of what route I should take. When I asked the bus driver, who it turned out didn't know, a woman sitting near the front piped up with the directions.

After depositing the fare, I moved up to where the woman sat with her young son and she explained to me how best I could get to where I was going. I thanked her and then her son showed me his Easter rabbit, a small bunny made from plastic crystal snowballs with pink felt ears and black wire whiskers.

The boy and I began to have a conversation and his mother would join in occasionally, the three of us engaging with one another as though we'd known each other for years. The woman told me I should get off the bus with them at the next stop and then they'd walk a block with me to the transfer point. She was happy to show me the way.

We got off the bus and continued yakking the way people who are not strangers do. Just then, the woman saw my bus and said I should run for it. I did, waving and thanking her, the boy still talking to me as I ran, shouting after me about his love for dragons, waving back with his little bunny clasped in his hand.

Now, would this story have happened just has easily if the Olympics had not taken place here? Of course it is possible. Friendly people are everywhere. But it is this familiarity that I feel here now, this sensation of true camaraderie that comes when a group of people have been through something BIG together, that makes this encounter more than just your average everyday friendliness.

After I got on the second bus and reflected on what had just happened I thought to myself that I should have given that woman my business card or at least asked her if she was on Facebook. It seemed a shame to lose touch so soon after we'd become friends.

Inspiring Message of the Day: We are all strangers to each other until we are not. It doesn't take much for us to connect to one another, to remember that we are, in fact, all here on this planet together. Familiar, connected, friends.

20/20 Vision

2010-04-06T11:59:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

They say hindsight is 20/20 and that perfect understanding of an event occurs only after it has happened. I experienced this form of awareness-after-the-fact last night after posting yesterday's blog.

There I was, writing about beauty, mystery and Spirit and what a magnificent world we live in and I was in a total fit of temper. I was completely exhausted, the cat was crying incessantly, it was getting later and later and I had to get up super-early to catch a plane. All of this was making my blood boil as I composed an Inspiring Blog!

It wasn't until after I fell into bed that the irony of the situation smacked me right between the eyes. How could I have expected to inspire others when I was feeling so uninspired myself? Am I a fraud for even attempting to do so?

Perhaps. But perhaps not.

Apparently Mother Teresa experienced profound doubt and depression during her long life of service. Did that lessen the effect she had on the people she was caring for? I don't think it did.

Believe me, I'm not comparing myself to Mother Teresa but I am interested in the idea that we can still help people when we are feeling helpless ourselves.

I once heard a story that Bill Wilson, one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, was in a very deep state of depression when he wrote one of the organization's most helpful books. Has this stopped the book from helping millions of suffering drunks? No.

But can we really be effective in service to others regardless of our own personal grief? I think Mother Teresa and Bill W. proved that we can. There was a time in my life when I believed that this wasn't possible, that only the purest of healers could heal. Today, I'm letting go of that rigid way of thinking.

Last night, while I was writing that blog, I was genuinely trying to create something inspiring. I was making an authentic attempt. The fact that I was not feeling completely inspired while writing it is then rather beside the point. Isn't it?

The amazing thing about all of this is that the blog ended up changing how I felt. As I lay in bed reflecting on all of the above, I remembered the Inspiring Message of the Day that I'd just composed. It helped me to connect to the Big Picture, let go of my irritability and relax into a place of peace.

Maybe that's why hindsight is 20/20. If the thing has to happen for perfect understanding to occur then I needed this experience to figure it all out.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to stay open to the idea that we can be of service to others no matter how we are doing ourselves. I don't have to be perfectly healed to take part in the healing of others.

Dance of the Spirits

2010-04-05T22:09:00.002-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Today's post is being written at the end of the day instead of the beginning due to the fact that I was on the road this morning, traveling back to Whitehorse from Dawson city post-filmfest. I thought about not posting because it is getting late and I am tired but I have committed to posting six days a week for one year come hell or high water, so here I am.

Last night, after the festival wrapped, I was lying in bed on the top floor of the inn where I was staying listening to the last few stragglers leave the festival building. I'd cracked open the window beside the bed to breathe in the fresh night air and sounds of laughter and footsteps crunching on gravel traveled up and into my room.

I heard someone yell, "Look up!" and then an immediate cheer from a number of voices. I pulled up the blind and hauled open the window to see what had caused the shouting. I sucked in my breath. The whole sky was alive and dancing with ribbons of pink and green and white.

The Aurora Borealis.

I looked down to the street below to see the small crowd of friends gazing up in wonder at the light show. As everyone oohed and aahed, one of them began to play an accordion.

Was I in a dream? Maybe a film.

EXT. STREET -- NIGHT

A woman leans out a third-floor window, her chin resting in her hand. Below on the street, a man plays the accordion, softly singing a French lullaby. Above, the black night plays host to technicolour shards of swirling light.

Maybe a short film.

This is what Wikipedia tells me I saw: "Auroras are associated with the solar wind, a flow of ions continuously flowing outward from the sun. The Earth's magnetic field traps these particles, many of which travel toward the poles where they are accelerated toward earth. Collisions between these ions and atmospheric atoms and molecules causes energy releases in the form of auroras appearing in large circles around the poles."

Yawn. I just call it magic.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Beauty! Mystery! Spirits! What a world, my friends. What a world!

And the Oscar Goes To...

2010-04-03T15:00:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

If you had the opportunity to meet someone who had won an Academy Award, wouldn't you be tempted to ask him about it? Isn't it something you'd be curious about despite the frivolity of it all? Come on, admit it. You'd wanna know. Wouldn't you?

Yesterday I attended a workshop here at the Dawson City International Short Film Festival with Chris Landreth, who won the Oscar for Best Animated Short Film in 2004. Mr. Landreth is a good speaker and an even better teacher and it was a super-informative session on psychorealism in animation and creative inspiration.

When the time came for Q&A some of us asked questions about Landreth's process and personal history and this created all kinds of further fascinating discussion. But not one person asked about the Oscar. So I put up my hand.

"What's it like to be the only person in a room who's won an Academy Award?"

Pause.

"To be honest, that all feels like a really f%&$ing long time ago."

Oh. Okay. Was this a sensitive issue? Maybe not. Maybe he just gets tired of being asked about it. After all, who cares? Really. It's just a gold friggin' statue. Most winners keep it in the bathroom. Or on the top shelf of the walk-in closet. It's totally meaningless in the Big Picture.

But I pressed on.

"You have to admit it's a huge thing, though, and people want to hear about it, because the Oscars play such a big role in this industry."

At that point someone in the audience, a friend of Landreth's called out, "What were you wearing, Chris?"

After making a joke about his friend being a shill (a person deliberately planted in the audience to play along -- I had to ask him later what he'd meant by that) Landreth admitted the Oscar had been a good thing, he'd had fun, he'd enjoyed it.

Boy, was I glad. I had begun to feel like an arsehole for even asking about it. I'm a showbiz junkie, I admit it. I've got a whole mental filing cabinet of Oscar speeches ready to go. If it's featherbrained to want to know how winning the biggest award in the entertainment industry has changed a person's life then, yuppers, I've got feathers for brains.

But come on, man. You won an Oscar. As a storyteller I'm like, hello! Great story opportunity, ya know? Tell us about it why dontcha!

Sure, it gets tiring answering the same question all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "So what was your inspiration for the idea behind XYZ?"

It's tempting to say, "Oh, God. That is such a boring question. Next!" But I have to remember that I'm in a different place each time the question is asked and the people in this particular audience haven't heard the same answer I've given a thousand times. I consider it my job to be responsive and engaging.

Don't get me wrong. Landreth was all of that and more. I was just a little taken aback by the F-Bomb. But I put myself out there to ask the question he's probably been asked a million times and that's what I got. It was interesting.

And he wore a black tux.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Nothing ventured, nothing gained, folks. And if I ever get a chance to use one of my Oscar speeches and you ask me about it later, I will do my best to give you the full story, even if it's the 489th time I've been asked.

Willing to Risk

2010-04-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

I'm in Dawson City, AKA Dodge, and the sky is clear, the air is fresh and the water tastes a little bit like sweet nectar. It's a great place to be for the long weekend.

Recently someone was asking me if I'm still leading the Cultivate Your Courage workshops and generally, when someone asks, it's because he is hoping to take the workshop himself. This person in particular was struggling with the fear of expanding his business practice to new heights. We had a good chat.

One of the things he asked me was, "How do you cultivate the willingness to take risks?" What a great question!

The only thing I have to offer is my own experience. As I always say, "I'm an expert on that." So how have I cultivated the willingness to take risks? As is most often the case, I've taken a deeper look at the underlying fear.

Why am I afraid to take risks in the first place? Is it fear of failure? Fear of success? Both? Fear of making a mistake? Fear of exposure/being discovered (I'm really a fraud)?

Once I understand which fear happens to be driving the bus I can then begin to work on walking through it, which will eventually lead to its decommissioning and my freedom.

For example, if I am afraid that people will find out that I am, in fact, less than they think I am (which, in itself is a LIE, so best to fire positive affirmations at that one ASAP, i.e., I AM GOOD ENOUGH etc.), then what is perpetuating that Old Belief System (Old BS) in the first place?

Perhaps I am carrying around some shame from my past. Something that I did, something that was done to me. So we gotta exorcise the demon! Get rid of it. Let it go for F&%$ sake! It is time.

I've had a few crying/letting go sessions that have led to my finally releasing the shame burden(s) and what followed, not surprisingly, was a greater willingness to be seen.

By "seen" I simply mean known. I'm not talking about exposure in the sense of going on a reality TV show to air dirty laundry. I'm talking about expanding my personal playing field, in business or socially, to encompass a wider spectrum.

Today, I am able to "put myself out there" in a bigger way because I am no longer ashamed of myself and I am no longer afraid of being "found out".

If shame is not the issue and just-plain-and-simple-fear-of-making-a-mistake is, then I can look at that, too. Taking risks means making mistakes. I know mistakes will happen if I take a risk. It's a given.

So can I become willing to live with the feeling that comes when I make a mistake?

Can I allow myself to be imperfect?

Can I allow myself to feel uncomfortable/vulnerable/powerless?

Can I do these things knowing the excruciating turmoil that comes from change will not last, it will not kill me and I will not die?

Can I trust that I will come through the other side of this change with a greater sense of confidence in my abilities and a whole new (radical) level of self-esteem?

Say "yes" and then stand back and prepare to be amazed.

None of this stuff is easy, BTW, but all of it leads to greater and greater freedom. The freedom from fear is worth the pain of change.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I don't have to change the Old BS in one day. I just have to become willing to be changed. The rest will come through opportunities that arise as a result of my willingness.

Just Did It

2010-04-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

It's a holiday weekend and I'm heading to Dawson City for the Dawson City International Short Film Festival. I've got a few things to pack, some folks to pick up and then we're on the road, heading into Dodge.

The DCISFF is a great fest altogether, as we'd say in Ireland. Great town, great people, marathon films of all calibres. I'm looking forward to it, not least because I have a film in the program this year, a 2-minute animation.

There were ten filmmakers commissioned to create 2-minute films for the DCISFF's 10th anniversary last year and I was lucky enough to be one of them. I'm a rookie filmmaker but the shorts I'd made were pretty big productions with full crew and mad locations (back roads of the Yukon, Paris, FRANCE). For the 10North Project I decided to go small.

The challenge I gave myself was to make a film without a cast or a crew. So I did that. I used a digital camera to take photographs and then I downloaded them into iMovie on this laptop and edited them with sound I created on the iPhone. It's a pretty rough piece but I'm extremely proud of it despite its jagged edges.

Some of you may know that I lead an Inspiring Workshop called Cultivate Your Courage, which is all about learning new tools to do the thing we think we cannot do. Last year, at the end of one of these workshops, one of the participants, an Adult Educator, shared with the group a little song-and-dance number she likes to perform for her students when they've accomplished something new.

This woman, a tiny, compact little fireball, held up her fists, wiggled her hips, sashayed from side to side and sang, "You did it! You did it! You did it!" It was as endearing as it was powerful. Whenever I accomplish something now I cannot help but hear that song.

So, today, for the wee film I managed to put together all by myself I'd like to sing it. Join me, please:

"You did it! You did it! You did it!"

Inspiring Message of the Day: When I accomplish something, no matter how small it is, I will sing the YOU DID IT song for myself. I will also offer it to others when the opportunity arises!

The Being

2010-03-31T09:15:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

With millions of copies sold, I am probably one of the few people of late who hasn't jumped on The Power of Now bus and ridden its journey to enlightenment. Heck, I haven't even seen The Secret. But the other night, in a state of sleeplessness, I downloaded the audiobook version of TPON on my iPhone and joined the masses.

Whether it was curiosity that led me to do so or the need for a soft-spoken German man to lull me to sleep I cannot say. All I know is, I fell asleep in the Now. Then.

What I like best about Eckhart Tolle's message is his use of the word "Being". This statement is from Wikipedia: "Occasionally [Tolle] uses the term God, but he prefers Being as "an open concept," something "it is impossible to form a mental image of" and which "does not reduce the infinite invisible to a finite entity."

Those of you who read this blog regularly know I use a number of different words for this same entity: Higher Power, Higher Guidance, Love, Spirit of Unity Back of All Things etc.

I'm actually okay with the word God and I often use it myself. But it's so loaded, and so open to misinterpretation that I tend to be pretty careful about it.

I wish I didn't have to be. I wish I could just use the word God all the time (just three little letters! So easy! So little typing!) but then I'd have to reassure y'all that I'm not talking about a white man in the sky or a Father of the Church and that would take just as long as writing Life Force Energy of the Benevolent Universe.

Eckhart kinda nailed it with Being though, didn't he? "Being" not only conjures the image of a Power Greater than Ourselves but simultaneously describes exactly how we can dwell in the presence of that Power. By be-ing. Just by Being. Here. Now.

One of the criticisms of the book (again from Wikipedia) charges that "there is nothing new in the book, that it simply repackages concepts familiar from various spiritual traditions."

Well, duh. Until we get it, folks, we gotta keep on hearing it.

So no matter how many times we hear it, no matter how many times it's been re-packaged, no matter how many times it's been blogged about, we can still open ourselves to receiving the message anew.

And the message is so simple, so beautiful. And so flippin' challenging! Be. Be here. Be in the experience of Now.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will land in my body, right now. I will land back in my life, right now. Every time I fly out and away I will practice coming back into the experience of Being. I'm alive!

Be a Child

2010-03-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

This morning, during meditation practice, I visualized the idea of living until I was 130 years old. For a gal who once thought she wouldn't make it past 17, this is rather amusing.

The image came to me as a way of seeing myself still in the early stages of my spiritual evolution. I needed to do this because yesterday I put my foot in my mouth and am feeling the painful effects of having done so. Imagining that I am only 30-something years into my actual human journey gave me great reassurance.

To put one's foot in one's mouth means (according WikiAnswers) "you said something you shouldn't have said in a certain situation." Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

Actually, I sort of think what I said was okay but how I said it was not. I could have been kinder. I could have been more compassionate. So I feel bad. I feel remorseful. I feel imperfect.

For a recovering perfectionist feeling imperfect is the perfect growth opportunity. It feels like crap but its exactly what we need to do. Not perfect yet, Celia. Never will be. Enjoy!

Transitioning from crap to enjoyment is a tricky business. This is really where the need was coming from to project almost 90 years into the future on the cushion. It was a way of accepting that I still have a great deal of work to do and that it's okay. I'm just at the beginning!

Inspiring Message of the Day: Sometimes it's tempting to think I've learned everything I need to know. But how arrogant is that? Today I will open myself up to the idea that I am still a teachable child with a long road of learning ahead of me.

Mystic Calling

2010-03-29T09:24:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I got a call from an acquaintance who had heard me speak on several occasions about the mystical path and my belief in the Power of Unconditional Love that is Back of All Things. He wasn't quite sure why he was calling but I have a feeling he knew after we hung up.

What is the mystical path?

The dictionary on this computer describes "mysticism" in this way: "belief that union with or absorption into the Deity or the absolute, or the spiritual apprehension of knowledge inaccessible to the intellect, may be attained through contemplation and self-surrender."

So the mystic uses prayer and meditation to align herself with Higher Guidance thereby achieving a spiritual understanding of the way things are that is beyond the intellect.

The mystical path is available to anyone who seeks it. One does not have to be special or chosen. One simply has to say, "I'm willing," and then begin to do the work.

And why would one choose to become willing to walk on the mystical path? Because it's fun! It's an adventure. And because without a spiritual understanding of the way things are, life can be a slog, it can be painful and it can be very dark.

I find that seeing things through a spiritual lens takes the slog right out of the experience of being. All of the horror, all of the injustice, all of the pain can be viewed from an entirely different perspective, which makes things not only easier to grasp (bear), but even exciting and, yes, fun.

People with faith in the Unseen have been accused of using their beliefs to explain away the bad things of this world. That faith is, in fact, a kind of denial. I couldn't disagree more strongly. I have been guided to faith. I said "I'm willing" and I began to receive Guidance. This tells me that the Path is not of my making.

Marianne Williamson says that a miracle is "a shift in perception". What that means is this: if I can shift my way of seeing, indeed, my way of being, from the intellectual to the spiritual, amazing things will happen.

Amazing things like phone calls from people who are working through that shift, which is not easy, BTW, and who need a little support along the way. And lemme tellya, my spiritual understanding of that phone call is that it was not just a phone call. It was nothing less than Higher Love calling me up on the phone to say hello.

Inspiring Message of the Day: What would things look like if I viewed them with a spiritual understanding? How would it change my life? Today I will look at what is happening in my life through a spiritual lens and ask for Higher Guidance to show me my True Path.

Seatbelts!

2010-03-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

It is a beautiful, sunny Saturday with spring-like temperatures outside. I am young, healthy, talented and prosperous. I have a lovely home and a full, abundant life. So why am I full of anxiety?

Because I am in the process of working on fulfilling one of my dreams, which is to make a feature film, and it's triggering fear. Because I'm about to go traveling for 10 days and it's triggering fear.

If there's anything I've learned on the healing path, it's that no matter how far I've come, no matter how much progress I've made, the fear will still get triggered when I take any kind of action that requires me to surrender control and take risks.

So what is the point, you ask? If you do all this work and the fear still comes up, what is the f'n point?

Well, the point is this: the fear may come up but it doesn't have to take charge. It doesn't have to control the situation. It doesn't have to make the decisions. It can quite simply come up.

Then the work begins. No one said fulfilling your dreams was going to be easy. Life is not a wishing well. I gotta do the footwork. I have to take the action steps necessary to manifest the vision. And when I do this all my Old BS will come to the surface to stop me.

That's when things get uncomfortable. And that is when we tend to give up, avoid, procrastinate, abandon ship and bail. But today, I refuse to bail and so I must learn to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

I heard that little gem this morning on an inspiring phone call. Boy, does that hit home! If I can stay with the discomfort, knowing that it's coming up because my Old Belief Systems are being challenged, then I can learn to observe, relax and let go.

So I'm feeling uncomfortable but I don't run for the hills. Instead, I do what needs to be done to move forward.

First, I name it. Check. Next, I share it with someone else. Check. Then I might say a prayer or do a positive affirmation to help me relax. Check. Finally, I do the next right action.

The next right action might be footwork around the vision or goal or it might be resting or it might be something else. I can find out by getting quiet and going within or calling a friend and talking it through. But no matter what, I do not have to let the fear win.

Those of you who are regular readers already know that one of my visions is to live fearlessly. Does this mean there will be a day when I never have to experience fear again? That would be good. Until then, when the fear comes up I do what's necessary to overcome it.

Inspiring Message of Day: Today I will take action toward fulfilling my dreams and when the fear arises I will practice getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

The Atonement

2010-03-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Do you have a favourite movie? I have several but if I had to narrow it down to one right now I'd have to say Atonement. I've probably seen it 10 times and could easily see it ten more.

Yesterday, after a full day of doing the hardest thing first I was exhausted and in need of a break. So I watched my favourite movie.

As you may know, the film, based on a novel of the same name written by Ian McEwan, is about a young girl who separates her sister and her sister's lover forever when she names him for a crime he didn't commit. She atones for her "sin" by writing a novel that gives them a life of happiness together.

It's devastating. And devastatingly good.

The dictionary on this computer defines "atonement" as "reparation for a wrong or injury; reparation or expiation for sin (religion)." In Christian Theology the Atonement is "the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ."

As a teenager, I was a thief. I stole merchandise from stores and money from employers, family and friends. It's not easy for me to admit this to you but I am able do so freely today because I am no longer ashamed.

I have found freedom from that shame by atoning for my wrongs. I have admitted my thievery to those that I robbed and I've paid each and every one of them back.

Making those amends was terrifying and sick-making but once done, I was free. One of the most amazing things about getting honest with people on this level is their reaction. One thinks they will chastise and judge, cast stones even. My experience has been just the opposite.

Here is an excerpt of a letter from the manager of a store where I stole a bunch of stuff in my youth. He wrote to me after receiving the money I owed him, included with my own letter of amends:

"I am glad that you are able to come to terms with some of the things in your past. I have posted your letter on my staff bulletin board and I believe that you will be an inspiration to my staff. It is never easy to admit and rectify any wrongdoings but I do firmly believe that it does cleanse the soul.

I have decided to make a donation to a charity on your behalf so your monies will be going to a great cause.

I wish you well in your journeys and if you are ever back in the city, please don't hesitate to drop by."

Does that not blow your mind?

Maybe Atonement is my favourite movie because I can relate to the character of the girl, who lives with her guilt until she can't anymore and then tries to make it right as best she can. Maybe it's because it's just a damn fine film. Either way, it cleanses my soul each time I see it.

Inspiring Message of the Day: We can find freedom from shame through atonement. It's a way out of the darkness of the past to the light of the present. To freedom and hope and joy.

Hardest Thing First

2010-03-25T08:56:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Thanks again to the friend who passed me the tool of "Do the Hardest Thing First" because it's helping friends and clients and has totally changed the way I operate.

In the past, I would always save the hardest thing until last and then be in a severely compromised position to get it done, which often meant I was needlessly orchestrating my own burn-out.

Each day, I now look at the to-do list and ask myself, "What is the hardest thing?" Once I know the answer I experience the feelings of dread and fear, probably say a prayer to help set them aside, and take action. It's a revelatory experience!

There are other benefits. Yesterday I completed 2 tasks, which I managed to do only because I'd already begun to do the work at an earlier date. I was able to achieve the goal(s) because I'd broken the hardest work down into stages.

By tackling some of the work when it was the hardest thing, leaving it for a few days and then going back to it, I lightened my work load and finished before the deadline.

There was a time when I would work all day and night before a deadline and then I'd spend the next couple of days crashing, cursing that I needed a day off and couldn't take one because there was more work on my plate!

So what's that all about?

Well, I think not wanting to do the hardest thing first is about fear of success. And fear of success is really about fear of the unknown and fear of failure.

Leaving things until the last minute and then crashing and burning is about low self-esteem. Somewhere deep inside I think I deserve this level of treatment, which is pretty poor if you think about it.

So real change comes from digging out these Old BS's (Old Belief Systems) and replacing them with new ones. I need to become willing to let go of the fear and start practicing the behaviour that scares the crap out of me.

The rewards are plenty. More time to play, to rest, to actually enjoy this life. What a concept.

Inspiring Message of the Day: What task am I avoiding, telling myself I'll get to it later? I will tackle it now, saving myself time and effort down the road and opening the door to feeling successful.

Coaching Success

2010-03-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday, after a session with the Business Coach with whom I've been working for the last couple of years, I wrote the following "something" on Facebook:

"Celia McBride thinks everyone should have their own coach."

Grammatical violations aside (should be "her/his own coach" in case you didn't catch it), the statement is absolutely true. Coaches are a marvel.

As an Inspiring Coach, I get to witness the growth and progress of clients that I work with, which is a major inspiration in itself. I get emails saying, "I did it!" or "I'm doing it!" and my heart fills with joy. As a client, I get to experience my own progress first hand.

One of the things I love about coaching sessions is that they often start with a review of what the client would like to celebrate. What are the victories or "wins" since the last session? It's a super way to build confidence and if you could measure self-esteem with a thermometer the mercury would shoot right to the top.

So as I described my wins with my coach yesterday I got to hear myself say how much progress I've made and how far I've come as a businesswoman since we started working together. Things I could never even have imagined a year and a half ago are now the reality of my existence. Pretty awesome.

To give you an example, one of the things I first started to work on with my coach was increasing my income. I vividly remember having heart palpitations as we talked about specific numbers. The fear of success and the Old BS that being poor meant I was more spiritual made the process of visioning more money incredibly nerve-wracking for me.

Since that session I have increased my income by 50%. This amazing fact has afforded me certain luxuries both practical and necessary for my business and also for my own self-care. It didn't come from wishing it came from work. But I sure didn't do it alone.

So here is to Coaches of all kinds! And if you don't have one, consider it. It will change your life for the better.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Change takes effort. But help is available. Today I will seek the help I need to achieve the goals I have.

Love is Law

2010-03-23T10:07:00.001-07:00

Dearest Readers,

So Obama's health-care bill has become law and some people are not happy about it. CBC Radio played a clip of Rush Limbaugh, the Republican radio host, saying, "We have get those bastards. We have wipe them out."

Now, presumably he was speaking about the United States Senate elections, taking place in November of this year, but considering the fact that US President Kennedy was assassinated for his radical policy-making, Limbaugh's words are more than just a wee bit scary.

A fellow artist posted this statement on Facebook this morning: "I don't understand why anyone would NOT want their countrymen to have health-care." Well, I don't understand how people can talk about wiping other people out with such non-chalance. The hatred is so disturbing.

The next story on CBC News described the fatal stabbing of 8 elementary school children by a mentally-ill former doctor. At this point I turned off the radio.

Last week I blogged about the story I was going to tell for World Storytelling Day, which I ended up calling "God Lives in Edmonton." The piece describes the spiritual awakening I had while living in desperate circumstances in that fair city.

Through a series of very dark and painful episodes that led me to a radical experience of Higher Love, I came to believe that good comes from bad. Not wishful thinking, not Pollyanna-like white-washing of pain but direct experience of Love borne from hate.

When I listen to frightening men like Limbaugh who are so full of that hate or hear about a man so sick he slaughters 8 little children on their way to school, I admit that the temptation to crawl under the covers and never come out is mighty. The world is too crazy. It's out of control.

But then I remember Love. And I remember that Good comes from bad. And I remember that I know this not because of blind faith but from direct and personal experience of Love as the only Truth. And I can feel the grief and I can respond with compassion and I can offer that Love to every single person I meet, including the hateful and the sick.

We must fight the hatred with Love. It is the only Way.

Inspiring Message of the Day: "It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake; a sufficient realization of Love will dissolve it all." ~ Emmet Fox

Mirror Mirror

2010-03-22T09:32:00.002-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Well, I got through the weekend activities, which included pitching a feature film project to a number of industry big-wigs and telling a story for the Yukon International Storytelling Festival. Now comes the follow-up: giving myself a pat on the back.

This is something I am always encouraging others to do, both friends and clients alike, to actually reach up and physically pat our own back while saying, "You did a really good job. Good for you!"

I'm writing about this now because I haven't done it yet. As we all know, doing things for ourselves is much, much more difficult.

It's so much easier to look at what I didn't do rather than what I did. "I skipped a whole chunk of the story," or, "I was nervous and I didn't say what I wanted to say to the producer guy."

Thank goodness I have made progress in this area. Those thoughts do still come up but I now refuse to give them focus. I refuse to give them any power.

Years ago, I read about about something called mirror work, which involves looking at oneself in the mirror and saying loving, affirming things. It takes the pat on the back one step further.

This kind of work makes a lot of people uncomfortable. It sounds corny, it feels corny, and, frankly, it is corny.

But this kind of work is also extremely powerful. It cuts right to the core of that deep well of fear and self-loathing. It forces us to confront our own inner critic in the most direct way. It's uncomfortable, I'll admit it. And that's why I do it.

So, friends, here I go: "You did really well, Celia. Good for you! You did your best and your best is good enough!"

Okay, the back is officially patted. Mirror, here I come.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will give myself a pat on the back for my accomplishments. I will go to the mirror and look myself in the eye and give myself a loving affirmation. We deserve it!

Power Full

2010-03-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

As I've written before, this URL is called Cultivate Your Courage for a reason. That reason is simple: I have had to learn how to cultivate my own courage day after day after day to overcome deep-seeded fears and insecurities.

To live fear-less is my greatest vision.

And Life, (thank-you, Life) continues to present me with opportunities to walk through my fear day after day after day.

Like today. I am privileged enough to be a part of a Film Forum here in Whitehorse that has brought together a handful of film producers and distributors from outside the Territory to meet those of us who are up-and-coming in the industry and hear our pitches.

Last evening, we had a chance to mingle with the delegates and chat with them in an informal and relaxed session. A friend of mine and I were speaking after it was all over and giving ourselves credit for showing up at all. Both of us had had the same thought, "I don't want to go."

Fear.

This morning, we have the opportunity to pitch our projects to the panel and lemme tellya, if there is anything that can bring up the fear of failure and fear of success in a (wo)man, this is it.

But something has changed in me. I'm not saying the fear is not poking at me like a little pin here and there, jabbing to get my attention. It is. But I am not sick with it. I'm not paralyzed or desperate. I'm okay. In fact, I'm good.

This is because I am employing the tools I've picked up over the years to achieve my vision of being fear-less and they're working.

The one that is really bringing me a sense of calm is the "expect nothing" tool. Maybe these people can help me make my movie and maybe they can't. Who knows? We'll see. One thing I know is that if someone on that panel really wants to help me, it's gonna happen.

So how do I get that person to want to?

I don't.

More tools I'm sharpening and polishing this morning: I can't make anybody do anything and I can't force outcomes.

"I am already enough."

If I go in there determined to somehow make someone want to work with me, I'm doomed. If I go in there feeling like I need these people to make the movie, I'm doomed. None of them have the power to validate me or my work and if I give them that power, that's right, all together now, "I'm doomed."

With or without them, the project I have is of value. With or without them, I have value.

Might seem like a no-brainer to some of you who are perhaps more evolved than I am but for the gal who has sought validation from others for most of her natural born life and for a gal who has believed that someone else is going to discover her talents and make her successful, it's a friggin' miracle.

Newsflash: that someone is me.

Inspiring Message of the Day: The Power I have comes from a Higher Source. It doesn't come from another human being. No one has the power to make me or break me unless I give away my power to that person. Today I will not give away my power. I will own my power by aligning my thoughts and actions with Higher Guidance.

Gratitude and Gosh Almighty

2010-03-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Thanks for being my virtual coach yesterday. Because of the commitment I made on the blog I managed to write the story I'm going to tell tomorrow night for World Storytelling Day. It took me all day but I did it!

Now I just have to "learn" it.

;)

--

Today's Inspiring Message of the Day is totally unrelated to the above post but it is completely marvelous nonetheless and has filled my morning with wonder and awe, which are truly inspiring states of being:

Did you know that a blue whale's tongue is the size of an elephant?!

Commit To It

2010-03-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

After posting yesterday that I had found a new story to tell this weekend I sat down and started to learn it. Halfway through I thought, "I do not want to tell this story."

Going over the grim details of how and why I moved to Edmonton literally sucked the energy right out of me. So I abandoned it.

Later, as I was walking along the street, I realized the part of the story that I do wish to tell comes later. The inspiring part involves me becoming aware of the Spirit of the Universe working as an active Guide in my life. That's why "God lives in Edmonton."

As the client of a Business Coach and as an Inspiring Coach myself, I am more than familiar with the idea of making a commitment to an action plan. What helps us follow through with that commitment is the verbal statement.

We gotta tell someone and we gotta say it out loud.

When we're procrastinating, when we don't want to do the thing we must do (learn a new story, for example), we can overcome the fear by making the verbal commitment to another person. "I commit to doing XYZ by the end of today."

So, if you don't mind, in the spirit of Self-Coaching and knowing I have a captive audience (AKA Support Team) out there reading this, here goes:

I commit to learning a new story today.

Thanks for receiving it!

Inspiring Message of the Day: It helps to state our goal(s) aloud and to another person. Doing this takes it out of thought and into action. Today, I will tell someone my goal and commit to completing the first action step.

Story Time

2010-03-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

The other day I posted on Facebook that I needed a "new story". I did so because I'm telling this weekend for the Yukon International Storytelling Festival in celebration of World Storytelling Day. The theme is "Light and Shadow".

The stories that I have in my bag certainly fit with the theme but none of them are really calling me. A story sometimes asks to be told. None of the usual suspects in my repertoire have been asking.

This morning, at Toastmasters, I told a story about the death of James Dean. I'm working my way through an Advanced Manual called "Storytelling" and the current project I had to tackle was "Bringing History to Life" with a story about a historical character.

It's a great story and I enjoyed telling it but I'm sorry, Jimmy. It's just not going to fly for the YISF.

As a writer/performer/producer, what I do, essentially, is tell stories. But storytelling as a form is very specific. That said, there are diverse styles within the form, which vary from the loose recounting of an event to the stylized performance of a memory or dream. Any form is alright by me for who does not like to tell or listen to a great story?

So, as I am inclined to do when at a loss, I prayed for a story to tell this Saturday night. Not begged, just "put it out there". And this morning, after TM, while I was breathing deeply in a spinal roll during yoga practice, the story came.

It's the story of why I moved to Alberta and why I left Alberta and the four months in between and, believe me, Light and Shadow fits the bill. I think I'm gonna call it "God Lives in Edmonton".

If you live in Whitehorse, come!

Inspiring Message of the Day: Our lives are full of stories! Today, tell a story, listen to a story, learn from a story. "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." ~ Maya Angelou

Lessons Learned

2010-03-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

It's been exactly two weeks since I got back from the Olympics and I finally feel like I've returned to the land of the living. Note to self: it takes a 4-day spiritual retreat plus 2 weeks to recover from creative projects that take 7 months.

That's not bad. Hey, maybe I'm pushing it. Maybe I'm still recovering. Maybe I should give it five more weeks. Like jet lag hours. You know, it takes as many days to recover from jet lag as number of hours in the time change? Maybe it takes as many weeks to recover from the Big O as number of months on the project.

But I am feeling better. My energy is flowing freely again and I've got that excitement and joie de vivre back, which has definitely been missing from the ol' attitude and outlook in recent days.

People keep asking me, "What's next?" and my answer is a whopper: "Produce a feature film."

Whaaaat?

"Okay, I just conquered the Olympics now what can I do to top that?" The truth is, the feature film has been in the works for a very long time. Looking at it now, I see that the Big O Project was the perfect training ground for the movie.

Yesterday, I was finishing off the Final Report for the Big O, which required that I include "lessons learned". I'd like to share some of them with you.

Here we go:

Take deadlines seriously.

Don’t panic or bow to pressure.

It’s okay to make a mistake.

Communication is not an Olympic sport. (That little gem came from our Stage Manager.)

One cannot really trust the Press.

Animals are a wild card.

Taking risks is good but be prepared for mishaps. That's why they're called risks.

Always have a Plan B.

Trust yourself, even when no one else does.

Don’t take criticism personally.

Keep your expectations in check. If they are too high, you will inevitably be disappointed.

Read the fine print. And the big print.

Do your best. Then tell yourself it’s good enough.

Ask for help.

Surrender when the battle is not worth fighting.

Wear a padded bra.

That last one has a really good story behind it. Maybe I'll tell it someday!

Inspiring Message of the Day: Taking the time to write out what lessons I've learned gives me a very clear picture of the experience and wisdom I've gained and provides me with an insurance policy I can refer to in the future. I might end up learning certain lessons again but it's not mandatory!

Recycling

2010-03-15T09:19:00.002-07:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I saw a young girl I know, an addict, climbing out of a dumpster. She was with her mother, also an addict, and they were collecting cans and bottles for refund. She saw me and I smiled and said hello but her obvious embarrassment kept me from lingering.

At one point in time I was helping this girl, mentoring her, providing guidance and support for her to stay clean. She was doing really well for a while but then she slipped away, spiraling back and down, giving up on herself, relapsing and refusing help.

It was painful to see her leaping out of that big bin of garbage in the alley. But I imagine the pain she is in is much worse. Knowing how far down she's gone to end up inside a dumpster picking through trash to find a five-cent bottle.

I've been reading about reincarnation lately and meditating on the idea that we come back to this earthly plane over and over again until we learn what it is we are supposed to learn. It's an endlessly fascinating concept.

Here is a quote from the book:

"An understanding of Reincarnation not only solves most of life's riddles but serves as a sign-post for all sorts of questions... It is the sovereign remedy for depression and discouragement and regret. It is the gospel of freedom and hope."

I can apply this to the situation of my young friend to help me understand it but you know what? It still hurts.

Inspiring Message of the Day: "Love the suffering." A person might be living out her karma but I can still feel the pain and do my best to respond with compassion.

The Russian Soldier

2010-03-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

As I've mentioned a number of times before, I have a subscription to the New Yorker magazine (thanks, Dad) and though the speed at which it arrives in my mailbox and the volume of its contents can be overwhelming I have come to thoroughly enjoy the inspiration it provides.

At the moment I'm reading a wonderful piece by Ian Frazier about his travels through Siberian Russia. His writing is simple and yet elegant and his style is rich with sensitivity and sensuality. I've kind of fallen in love with him because of it.

Reading the article has brought back memories of my own trip to Russia in the earliest part of 1991. In fact, I and my fellow McGill students rang in the New Year in Tallinn, Estonia, having arrived by train the day before all the way from the blackened streets of dreary and fascinating Moscow.

I was 19 years old and studying Russian because I had a 40 year-old boyfriend who was doing entrepreneurial business in Russia at the time. I loved learning the language and though I can only speak a few scant phrases today and remember little of what I was taught I can still pronounce the alphabet and read Russian words off a page.

After our New Year's celebration we took train from Tallinn to Leningrad (the collapse of the Soviet Union took place later that year so the country we visited was still hanging on to Communism, albeit by the skin of their teeth -- only a few months later would the city become St. Petersburg once more) and I recall the dirty, mud-caked windows, which made seeing out impossible, and the sense that none of us knew where we were or where we were going.

Upon arrival in Leningrad, I checked my pockets to make sure I had everything before getting off the train. Something was missing. I had stuffed a wad of tightly rolled American dollars into a film canister for safe-keeping. It was gone.

I searched madly throughout the train's car, crawling on the floor to look for it. After 15 minutes our chaperone told me to let it go. I was keeping everyone waiting.

I refused.

It had to be here, I reasoned. I boarded the train with it. It could not have disappeared.

Soon a handful of Russian soldiers entered the car. They had no English to understand me but they saw my panic and they saw my determination. They hovered around nervously.

On hands and knees, searching one more time beneath my seat, I heard a faint sound, like the sound of a small, plastic item hitting the floor and rolling down the aisle toward me.

"Found it!" someone cried (in Russian, of course). I stood up. One of the soldiers held out the canister. Was this what I'd been looking for? Relief flooded through my entire body. I thanked him profusely. Where had he found it? Just there, on the ground. I was so grateful that I gave him some of that money as a reward.

As the Chaperone hurried me away, we looked back at the soldiers standing in the light of the doorway. The black train was invisible in the black night. "You're lucky you got it back," she said.

What did she mean?

"Don't you realize? One of them had your little treasure. He pretended to find it only because you were refusing to give up. He must have been scared we would call in the higher authorities."

As I was reading Mr. Frazier's article this story, and its mystery, came back to me, detail by detail, nearly two decades later. How did the soldier get the canister of money in the first place? Did he decide to drop it by virtue of his own merit or was he ordered to do so by the others?

There was probably US$200 in that container. How lucky was I to get it back?

The memory of this incident has inspired me. I am struck by the vastness of my life experience, the scope of over 14,000 days on this planet, and the myriad stories embedded within this time frame.

How vast and rich with images are our lives. Just like Siberia.

Inspiring Message of the Day: How many days have I been on the planet? How many stories are contained in this number? Today I will allow the stories of my past to enrich my present experience.

Movin' On Up

2010-03-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

A snippet of a conversation from yesterday with a fellow yogi:

(hugging hello)

Her: How are you?

Me: Today is rough.

(she hugs me more tightly)

Her: Is it post-Olympic blues?

Me: Must be.

Her: Could be seasonal. I was talking to X and she's off her game. I'm feeling sadness, too.

Me: I don't buy into the seasonal thing at all. It's FEAR and it's my responsibility to figure out what it's about and right now it's manifesting as WRATH.

Her: Excellent.

(she smiles)

Me: Yeah, it is excellent.

(we laugh heartily)

Well, the first thing I notice as I look back on this moment is my own lack of compassion. The second is how hard I am on myself (see responsibility part in conversation as well as sentence immediately preceding this one) and the third is how humour can defuse any bomb.

So let me now offer compassion to those who do suffer from SAD or whose emotions are particularly susceptible to seasonal changes. For me, when I am off my game, what I find most helpful is an investigation into the fear.

When I ask myself "What is fear behind this feeling?" I often find that I am able to release the emotional pain, which may be manifesting as fatigue, anger, sadness, or depression.

So what is the fear behind my current emotional state? The fear of moving forward. If I put my life on hold by remaining in "depression" I won't have to experience failure, criticism, rejection, disappointment and all the other good things that come with success.

Okay, so now I have awareness. Next comes the more challenging part: being willing to change.

Being aware of the truth about the fear makes it somewhat easier to change but becoming willing to change is a whole other matter. Because If I'm willing to change it means I gotta. It means I have to let go of trying to control the situation. It means I have to fall into the unknown.

Scary.

But, as one of our heroes, Eleanor Roosevelt, says, we must do the thing we think we cannot do. And once we do that, and come out the other side, we see that it's possible. And once we know that it's possible we can do it again. And again. Soon we have a track record of courage behind us.

My own track record is about ten miles long already. So I do know, in my heart of hearts, that by walking through my fear, by moving forward, by heading into the unknown I am going to be okay.

Not only am I going to be okay I'm going to be amazed. Good things are waiting. Courage merits Grace.

Inspiring Message of the Day: One more time I will become willing to walk through the fear that is holding me back, keeping me from my Highest Good, blocking the Spirit of Love that is available to me at all times should I choose to accept it.

Remember What You Know

2010-03-11T08:48:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Although I have now been back home for over a week after traveling I am continuing to negotiate the murky waters of re-entry mode. This means I move back and forth between feeling totally inspired and excited about my life and total exhaustion and dread.

It was very good for me to go back and re-read that earlier post, linked above. To hear myself say, "Everything can wait. I'm at my best when I'm rested" is a healing balm on the fried wires of my brain.

Indeed, I have been resting. But I've also been very busy working away at all kinds of things, too. Perhaps I've been driving a little too fast, thinking I have to get to the next destination, forgetting that the destination is now.

"What works best is finding a balance between work and rest."

Yes, I really said that. Quoting myself might seem a little bit like megalomania but the wisdom I offer on this blog doesn't really come from me in the first place. It comes from all kinds of wise men and women who have offered it to me and to them it came from Higher Guidance.

So, in fact, I'm taking advice today from the Source of Wisdom itself, the Nap God.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Though I am wise, I forget sometimes what is best for me. I need to be reminded of what my real needs are and today I'm willing to check in with myself to discover what they might be.

Top Ten Morning

2010-03-10T09:11:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

I've only been awake for two hours but here are ten things that have already inspired my day:

1. Watching someone walk through her fear by getting up in front of a group of strangers to give a speech for the first time.

2. Hearing a man say he has never in his life known what it means to be obsessed with something.

3. Feeling the cold, fresh air of a -10C morning.

4. Realizing that it is now light out at 8 a.m.

5. Feeling the deep stretch of my spine in Sarvangasana -- Shoulder Stand.

6. Reading my friend Leanne's blog: Living with Breast Cancer.

7. Watching the sun peek over the mountains and head into the sky.

8. Petting the soft and silky fur of the little monkey cat I live with.

9. Having a brief conversation about the unity and community created by Canada's Olympics and being reminded of what a thrill it was to be a part of it.

10. Breakfast.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will name ten things that have already inspired me so far today. I will do this to remind myself how amazing life is and how rich it is to be awake and alive.

Yes!

2010-03-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend who had decided to say "yes" to everything that came her way. "I'm thinking that if it's put in my path it's Divine Will so I'm just saying yes to it." As a result she was experiencing all kinds of miracles in her life.

There was a Jim Carrey movie, Yes Man, that came out last year about a man who took a similar approach to life after being forced into it by a "Yes" guru. It turns his whole life around. Where he was once fearful, he becomes fearless. Where closed, open. You get the idea. He is transformed.

I'm in a situation right now where I've decided to "just say yes" to something that scares me. It's something very banal, something that people do everyday by the millions but I've never done it before and it brings up the terror big-time.

I'm buying a vehicle.

There are all kinds of reasons why I could say no to this prospect and they run the gamut from environmental to financial but I've weighed them all carefully and what my "no" really comes down to is fear. I'm afraid. It may sound silly but it's the truth.

What if I buy the wrong one? What if I can't afford it 6 months down the road? What if I'm struck by lightning because I'm contributing to the accumulation of more junk on the planet? What if the environmental fascists find out and hunt me down?

Ridiculous.

Seeking Higher Guidance, I consulted the Grace Cards. I was sure I was going to pull one that said "Prudence: don't be an arse you can live without a vehicle you've been doing it for years" but instead I picked "Surprise: Keep an open mind. Grace can often be found in unexpected places."

Even trucks?

So after this conversation with my yes-friend I've made the final decision to go ahead and take the plunge, take the risk and walk through my fear. I'm looking forward to the surprise!

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice saying "yes" to whatever comes my way today. I will keep an open mind about where saying "yes" can lead me.

Collective Grief

2010-03-08T09:42:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Lately I've been blogging a lot about how we can reconcile the difficult, terrifying and atrocious things that happen in the world. As you've probably gathered, acceptance is one of the tools that I advocate. Using what I call The Spiritual Solution, or seeing the world from a Higher Perspective, is another.

Yesterday, after reading a short story about a young Irish girl who goes to live with her aunt and uncle for the summer, I remembered one more: balling your eyes out.

I'm not sure if the story moved me so deeply because it was about fathers and daughters or because it took place in Ireland, where I used to live, or because it was about running, which I used to do avidly as a young girl, or whether it was all of these things combined, but I got to the end and friggin' lost it.

It occurred to me as I wept into the cloth napkin I was holding and tried to finish the bite of salad I'd just taken (I happened to be eating my lunch while reading the story) that I was also crying for the Haitians, the Chileans, my friend with metastasic cancer, and for all the suffering that goes on in the world every single day.

It felt good. To grieve. To feel. It's tempting to numb out in the face of such deep pain because we're essentially powerless to change what has happened in any given situation. Our only power lies in our response.

If our response is to take action to make changes in our own lives or support the changes in the lives of others it can sure help to have a good ol' cry before we begin.

Inspiring Message of the Day: When was the last time I really felt the grief that is created in me through the world's suffering? I will find a way to feel my feelings deeply so that I can move forward. I will shed a layer of sorrow to make room for hope.

Healing Words of a Mystic

2010-03-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

An article in The New Yorker magazine about the aftermath of the January 12th earthquake in Haiti stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Rather it was this sentence that did it: "One day, I saw a man tied to a pole, hacked up by machetes and beaten to death with rocks."

The reporter who wrote it was driving through the city helping a woman find food for her community. He saw this and worse.

I couldn't read anymore and I put the article away. Only that morning had I blogged about the inspiration and hope instilled in me by the story of Nelson Mandela's act of unifying his country through forgiveness.

How do we reconcile ourselves with such horror in the world as is taking place in Haiti even now as I write this?

The only way I am able to do so is by shifting my perception to the spiritual. Atrocities cannot be understood with the human mind. We must seek to understand these things through a Higher Lens.

The following quote from Hadewijch of Antwerp helps me to do this:

"We must be continually aware that noble service and suffering are proper to man's condition... [T]he true justice of Love [means that] where Love is, there are always great labors and difficult pains.

Love, nevertheless, finds all pains sweet... With the Humanity of God you must live here on earth, in labors and sorrow, while within your soul you love and rejoice with the omnipotent and eternal Divinity in sweet abandonment.

For the truth of both is one single fruition... [Y]ou must here with Love surrender yourself to both in unity. Serve humbly under their sole power, stand always before them prepared to follow their will in its entirety, and let them bring about in you whatever they wish."

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice accepting this world as it is, a world where both Love and Sorrow are True. I will do my best to serve humbly under their sole power, which is the Spirit of Unity Back of All Things.

Visionary Leadership

2010-03-05T08:35:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Today I am inspired by a man who spent almost 30 years in prison and then became a peaceful world leader. A man who embraced the country that once despised him and set about healing the wrongs of the past with love and understanding. A man who believed in forgiveness instead of revenge.

This is Nelson Mandela.

Last night I went to see Invictus, the film by Clint Eastwood about Mandela's vision to unite his country using rugby. It's an incredibly uplifting story, all the more so because it's true.

"Invictus" means inconquerable (I had to look it up) and it is the title of the poem that inspired Mandela to move forward, to never give up, to see the positive in the negative and to overcome his situation while in prison.

Here it is:

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley (1849-1902)

Inspiring Message of the Day: I believe in the power of forgiveness. It can change a man, his country and it can change the world. I will practice forgiveness in my own life knowing it is the most radical and most effective approach to healing myself and our planet.

X Factor

2010-03-04T08:31:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Years ago, before I got on the healing path, I was in a deeply dysfunctional relationship that could only truly be described as totally self-destructive. I probably shouldn't even call it a relationship because we never did have a commitment to one another. We would just get loaded and then end up in bed.

For a time, this person and I lived together, trying to make our non-committed, non-relationship work. It was a disaster. We ended up parting ways under extremely uncomfortable circumstances and for years afterward I held this person in contempt, full of anger and resentment at the way things turned out.

Last night, a friend and I were talking about past relationships and I was relating some of the above story to help her through her own situation. We were talking about what it takes to forgive the person we feel has wronged us.

We both agreed that it takes a lot!

Part of the difficulty comes from the fear of letting go. If I forgive him then he gets away with it! If I let her off the hook that means what she did is okay! If I let go it means... what does it mean?

It means I get to be free.

But... but... it means he/she gets to be free, too. And that's not fair. He hurt me! She wronged me! She deserves to be punished. He should pay!

The irony is, because the fear of letting go is keeping me holding on, I am the one who is, in fact, paying. He's just living his life. She's just doing her thing. I'm in bondage to the desire to see him/her suffer. I'm not free.

The idea that I'd be letting my former lover off the hook kept me holding on to my anger/hurt for a very long time. In order to begin the process of letting go I needed to become willing to see that this person's punishment was not my responsibility. By making it mine I was giving away my power to the past and thereby eroding my own sense of self-worth.

It's taken years but as I told my friend last night, I have managed to let go of the hurt and the anger. I've worked my butt off to allow forgiveness into my heart. Forgive the person, forgive myself. Challenging. But worth it. Because I'm no longer in bondage to the past or to the person.

So then wouldn't you know it, this very person appeared in my dream last night. As my lover.

In the dream, we were getting back together but not in the past, in the present. This person was healed, I was healed. Our love was new and exciting. We were mutually supportive and respectful. Our intimacy was deeply sensual and a heck of a lot of fun.

What does this mean?

For me, the relationship in the dream represents total reconciliation with the wounded/hurt/angry part of myself. She is (I am) over it. She is healed and so I am healed. Together we are whole. We are Self-Love, embodied. New and exciting, mutually supportive and respectful, sensual and fun.

Free.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Am I afraid that if I forgive someone I will be letting him/her off the hook? Can I accept that it's not my job to make sure he/she is punished? Today I will become willing to let go of the wound in exchange for my freedom.

Pro-Rogue

2010-03-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

All y'all may get tired of me posting how the Creative Power of the Universe will specifically respond to our questions but I will never get tired of blogging about it.

Here's the latest:

As we de-planed yesterday at the Whitehorse Airport I saw a woman holding that book by Sarah Palin called "Going Rogue."

"What exactly does rogue mean, anyway?" I thought to myself.

As I've mentioned before, I am a member of Toastmasters International and one of the standard practices at all TM meetings is the Word of the Day.

The TM meeting I attend is for early birds as it takes place at 7 a.m. on Wednesday mornings. This morning I had to drag myself out of bed to get there. I didn't have to go but I've missed a number of meetings over the course of the last couple of months and I knew if I didn't go today I might never get there again.

When I arrived, a fellow member was writing the Word of the Day on a white board. By now, no doubt, you've guessed what it was. Rogue.

What this tells me is that I am in the Flow, bruthas and sistahs. I am in tune with the Cosmic Consciousness. Not because I'm special but because I have been vigilant about creating and sustaining my relationship with Higher Guidance. I work at it. Everyday. And it pays off.

BTW, "rogue" means "a person whose behavior one disapproves of but who is nonetheless likable or attractive". In case you didn't know.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to pray and meditate, to seek a connection with the Spirit of Unity Back of All Things. When I make this connection a priority I am shown in both small and great ways that I am truly supported.

The Morning After

2010-03-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Now back in Vancouver (and heading home today) I have been experiencing the energy of this city in all its post-Olympics glory. The people are abuzz with happiness and joy. It's thrilling to witness and to have been a part of it feels very special.

Coming here yesterday I was expecting to experience a city with a big, fat hangover but it seems that nobody got drunk! Everyone must have engaged in that most perplexing of activities called social drinking because from what I can tell, no one is sick and tired and full of remorse and regret. I have seen only gracious pride and unity. Too cool!

Reading through one of the Vancouver papers yesterday, I was struck by how positive all the reporting was. There were a few altercations mentioned, protesters going too far and things like that but all in all, thousands and thousands of people behaved themselves and got along.

Some might say, "Duh." No-brainer. We are Canadian, after all. But we are also human beings who can be wild beasts when given the opportunity. And this was a global crowd.

Something about this particular Olympic party encouraged the vast majority of its guests to be peaceful. We were almost entirely unified in our restrained approach to celebrating the bigness of the event.

I find this incredibly hopeful. If you are one of those people who thinks we're all going to hell in a hand basket (I'm not) then surely you are encouraged by such a mass demonstration of togetherness. People can certainly be boors but we can also be real gems, too.

Let's celebrate the hope for humanity for once, shall we? None of this "we're doomed because we're destroying the planet" thinking allowed here. We're doing well, folks. Instead, let's give ourselves a collective pat on the back for sharing the spirit of the times in such an inspiring way.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will look for opportunities today to connect with my fellow gems knowing we are all in this together and together we can make the world a more hopeful and unified place.

Dogged Determination

2010-03-01T09:04:00.002-08:00

Dearest Readers,

About three years ago I decided I needed a vacation. I’m not very good at lying on a beach and having a cabana boy bring me drinks so I started to research alternatives. I was interested in doing something that would enrich my inner life so I Googled “spiritual vacation british columbia.”

What I ended up finding was a little piece of paradise in Naramata, BC, where the Naramata Centre sits on the edge of Lake Okanagan surrounded by lush vineyards and rugged hills. As I leave here today, after my third retreat in three years in this giving place, I am truly grateful for Google and its astonishing wisdom.

What a spiritual vacation gives me that a regular vacation does not is discernment. This computer’s dictionary describes discernment as “perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.”

I go on spiritual vacation in order to perceive what I cannot yet see so that I may follow the next course of action in my life.

Last week, after the presentation of the Big O Project in front of 10,000+ people I reported that except for one glitch the show went off without a hitch. I also noted that participating artists and presenters were all ecstatic with the final results.

A few friends responded to my concerns about the glitch with tremendous support. “No one notices these things,” they said.

But I noticed. And the glitch was, in fact, a team of live dogs that got so scared by the noise, the lights and the crowd, that they cowered on stage and had to be pulled off by their handler.

At the time, I was on stage myself, in the role of happy crowd-pleaser, encouraging the masses to clap and dance to the rockin’ music being played to accompany the dogs.

Talk about acting! I was mortified to see the dogs so disturbed and if I had been being truthful to what I was really feeling I would have gone immediately to comfort them instead of clapping and dancing and smiling with joy.

After it was over I was back stage, in this enormous stadium, standing beside the giant torch that was the eye-popping centrepiece for the Opening and Closing Ceremonies of the 2010 Olympics, breathing deeply and trying to digest the remorse in my gut. I felt full of shame over what had happened. It was not my greatest moment.

Coming here, to Naramata, seeking discernment, seeking rest, I have been given “perception in the absence of judgment” with regard to this incident, which I’ve been trying to process since it happened. I am glad to say that I have been given the spiritual understanding of the situation that I was seeking. I am now at peace with it.

Without going into everything that happened to get me here, I will tell you the story of the very last piece of the puzzle:

Last evening, as the sun set and the birds danced and sang all around me, I stood on the threshold of the Centre’s Labyrinth, a mystical path used for meditation, with a question.

“What can I offer? What can I give?”

I entered the single path that leads by twists and turns and curving lines, by one way in and one way out, and I walked, step-by-step toward the centre, listening for the answer to my questions.

Just two steps away from the flower-shaped centre two dogs came bounding up to me, seemingly from nowhere. As I greeted them with great love and affection I realized that the answer to my question had just arrived, manifest in the very real figures of these two shaggy beasts.

As they bounded away and I stepped into the heart of the Labyrinth the words washed over me.

“The dogs. I can offer the dogs.”

I had been blaming myself for the terrible fear I saw in the stage dogs’ faces, for putting them through that ordeal. The Labyrinth dogs represented the permission I needed to finally let go of my shame over the stadium incident, AKA the “glitch”.

What can we do with a situation that plagues us in order to move forward? How can we let it go? How can we accept and learn from it?

We can offer it to the same Loving Power that sends us the answers to our deepest questions.

Beats the beach and a cabana boy any day, no?

Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am carrying a heavy burden I can offer it up. I do not have to hang on to that which weighs me down. I can give it to the Source of All Things and be free.

Vacation Reply

2010-02-27T07:07:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Because I am on vacation, today's post is about giving myself permission to NOT post (even though I just posted).

Inspiring Message of the Day: ;)

More on Acceptance

2010-02-26T17:23:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

After I posted yesterday's blog, I wondered if I'd come across as hard-hearted. After all, I was talking about accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. I am aware that this kind of thinking can come across as judgmental and lacking compassion but, in fact, it is my belief that acceptance is borne from Love.

Love is the abiding Force behind everything. Some people will dispute that. It's okay. That doesn't mean it's not Truth. Because we are human, death and illness appear real. That's okay, too. They might appear to be real but they are not true.

This little nugget of wisdom was given to me today and I'm lovin' it. Something might be (seem) real but that don't make it Truth.

I choose to practice acceptance because I trust that somehow the Great Abiding Love Back of All Things is at work, even in the darkest places. Without negating emotional needs or minimizing pain I am choosing to acknowledge what is True rather than give power to what is not.

Inspiring Message of the Day: The human experience is real to us and therefore must be validated but the Truth is greater than our human experience. The Truth is that Love is behind everything and if I trust this Truth I have the key to lasting Peace.

Acceptance Brings Peace

2010-02-25T15:20:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

There is a fire warming my legs, a blue sky outside the nearby window, a sparkling lake in the distance and a dis-ease called cancer that is ripping apart the life of my friend Leanne.

The unbearable incongruousness of life! How can we live with it?

Recently I heard someone talking about the frustration we humans feel when we are faced with questions that we cannot answer. In our arrogance and in our fear, we demand the answers. "Why, God? Why?"

So often, here on this earthly plane, we cannot know the answer.

Sometimes all we can do is practice acceptance. It might not satisfy the need to understand but it can bring peace nonetheless. We can practice letting go of the "why" and instead look for the "way".

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice letting go of my need to make sense of things that don't make sense. From this, I will trust that peace will come.

Wish You Were Here

2010-02-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

As one chapter of my work life comes to an end and another begins I am happy to report that I am taking a few days to rest and restore my energy.

There was a time in my life when I would have scheduled something, anything, on the day immediately following the end of a project. I would launch myself into more work lest I miss an income-generating or career-enhancing opportunity.

This way of operating clearly wasn't working for me. Burn-out was something I knew well. My coach introduced me to the term "re-entry", which is the state of being that comes with endings and beginnings, especially when travel is involved.

It took me a while to learn how to give myself the re-entry time required to adjust to normal life but eventually I got it. With the conclusion of the Big O Project I'm taking it one step further. Before I head home and into re-entry mode, I'm going on spiritual vacation.

For three days I will be on a personal retreat in a beautiful location, taking part in activities like Qi Gong, labyrinth-walking, and guided meditation. I will receive Spiritual Direction and healing treatment sessions and my time will be devoted to letting go, discerning new direction, and seeking quiet.

The fact that I am now able to give myself this gift is a testament to the healing work I've done over the last number of years. One, I didn't ever believe I deserved a spiritual vacation, and two, I didn't think I could afford it, either financially or time-wise.

Today, I know that not only do I deserve and can I afford this gift but it is absolutely necessary for my overall sense of well-being.

What a change! From financially-insecure-overachieving-workaholic to prosperous and relaxed vacation-taking mama. Let the re-entry begin.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Do I need a spiritual vacation? Do I believe that I deserve something like this? I will explore the idea of taking time to rejuvenate my spirit and restore my emotional energy.

The Land of Serendip

2010-02-23T09:14:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Because of something that happened to me yesterday I just looked up the word "serendipity" in this computer's dictionary.

Here is what it said:

"The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

ORIGIN 1754: coined by Horace Walpole, suggested by The Three Princes of Serendip, the title of a fairy tale in which the heroes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

As I was walking along the street yesterday afternoon I saw a woman I know from Whitehorse. She now lives in Vancouver and there she was, riding her bicycle past me on the street. I opened my mouth to call her name and, to my surprise, it actually came out. (Sometimes, in these situations, it doesn't.)

She stopped, recognized me immediately and got off her bike to say hello. We hugged and when I asked her how she was doing she responded truthfully and said she was struggling. We walked together for a while and she shared with me some of her difficulties.

I related to what she was talking about; I had been through similar challenges myself. I was able to share my experience, strength and hope with her and she left with the name of a book I recommended and a smile on her face. I felt as though I had been useful and helpful to a friend in need.

Neither of us were on a quest for such a happy and beneficial meeting but nonetheless it occurred for our mutual benefit. Is this "chance", as the above definition describes? Or it is Higher Guidance, giving us just what we need precisely when we need it?

I think you know what my answer would be.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to stay open to the happy and beneficial discoveries provided me by serendipitous encounters. I will trust that this is Higher Guidance, giving me just what I need.

Checks and Balances

2010-02-22T08:42:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

It's now two days after the biggest performance of my career so far and I'm happy to report that I'm NOT now experiencing the biggest crash of my career, too.

There was a time in my life when I would push myself to make the climb, peak, and then crash and burn, needing days or weeks to recover physically, emotionally and spiritually. At some point, I realized this wasn't working for me. There had to be another way.

Balance, anyone?

Balance can be tough to achieve. I once had a yoga teacher who said if you're falling over in Vrkasana (AKA Tree Pose, which involves standing on one leg at a time) then your life's balance is out of whack. I wasn't too crazy about hearing this little bit of truth because I was unsteady in the pose.

Today I can stand completely still in Vrkasana but it took a series of painful lessons to get here.

Through regularly occurring breakdowns after pushing myself too hard, I was forced to learn how to balance my time and my energy. Those of you who are regular readers know that I've shifted my perception a number of times in order to reduce the scale of the Big O Project in my mind. But by making it "just a job" I've been able to stay grounded.

Yesterday, I took a day of rest and today I will get some work done but take it easy, too. I'm not lying on the couch, sick as a dog, feeling depressed and mournful, recovering from an immeasurable high. I did a gig, it was big, and life is continuing on.

That said, it's important to celebrate the highs, too. And O.M.F'N.G., you guys, it was awesome.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to strive for balance in my life today. I will not push so hard that a crash is inevitable and I will not retreat so far that coming back is painful. Mindful, forward movement is the best practice.

I'm Gonna Let It Shine

2010-02-20T16:04:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

I am in a dressing room backstage at BC Place Stadium listening to the muffled sounds of the Stereophonics rehearsing their set on the main stage. When I was standing on the giant deck, staring up at a screen the size of an apartment building, surrounded by technicians and performers and Olympic logos, there was only one question on my mind.

How did I get here?

The simple answer: I walked through my fear.

Emotions are running high. There have been a few tears shed because a gig like this is a lot for the nervous system to endure. But there is no doubt that we are all excited, grateful and more than a little stoked.

Yes, I walked through my fear to get here but I also had a lot of help, both from people and from On High. I believe there is a purpose to our lives and that we must devote our energy to its discovery. Mine is to shine the light I've been given in the most exquisite and truthful way.

What's yours?

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will discover my Life's Purpose and I will commit to its fulfilment, one day at a time, to the very best of my ability.

The Glass is Half Full

2010-02-19T09:02:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

(Before today's post, a word (or two) about leaving comments. A friend emailed me to say she tried to leave a comment and couldn't. I don't know if any of you have tried to do the same and been blocked but, if so, here's why:

My mother received a comment on her blog, the characters of which were actually multiple links to Asian porn sites. Soon after, I received the same comment. I then chose the setting that only allows members or followers to leave comments. If you'd like to leave a comment, please become a follower or create a Google account. Thanks!)

There are lots of people out there who are against the Olympics. What I would like those people to see is the unity this event is creating among people. It's everywhere!

Strangers are connecting in myriad ways all across these city streets. Conversations, shout-outs, mass cheering, you name it. There is a kind of solidarity at work that is unlike anything I've ever seen. It's like Facebook, only live.

As I was getting off the bus with one of the gals on the Big O Project last evening, a woman saw our official jackets and said, "You're from the Yukon?" We said we were. Another guy piped up and said, "I used to live in the Yukon!" and began to describe to us his old life in the North.

The woman who first spoke alighted with us and we chatted with her as she walked us to our destination. In exchange for her kindness and curiosity, I gave her an official Yukon pin, AKA gold (for some) in this pin-crazy environment.

I'm sure the protesters and the naysayers all have very good reason to be fighting what they perceive to be a beast that must be slain. But all I'm seeing is the Love.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I can choose whether to focus on the negative or the positive. Today I will embrace the positive. It is there for us to discover!

Buying Groceries: Lessons in Compassion

2010-02-18T07:06:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Conversation overheard in an organic food store on Commercial Drive, Vancouver:

Cashier: Yeah, I hate that guy.

Customer: Hate's a pretty strong word.

Cashier: Come on, everybody hates somebody.

Customer: I'd rather just be happy.

Cashier: Yeah, happy people are cool. I like happy people. But not all happy people. Happy people are so "on" all the time. Are you pro or anti-Olympics?

Customer: Oh, anti. I'm pro-people.

Cashier: Yeah, people are cool. Not all people. Most people. Some.

Customer: ...

Cashier: Well, you have a wonderful day!

Customer: You, too.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will heal the hole in my heart that tells me it's okay to hate. I will ask for freedom from the temptation to judge. I will have compassion for those who are not there yet.

It's a Hit

2010-02-17T02:02:00.002-08:00

Dearest Readers,

This post is being written in the wee hours of the morning pre-flight to Vancouver and post-show at the Yukon Arts Centre. That's right, tonight we premiered the Big O Project for the locals and tomorrow we take it to the Olympics to represent.

This show has been a big part of my life for the last 6 months. My vision for the piece has, from day one, been to inspire the punters (a word the Irish use when referring to the audience -- I picked it up while living there and still love to say it).

Tonight the vision became a reality. The punters went wild!

Six months ago I almost said no to this job. I didn't want to create a stadium show. I couldn't see how it could be in the slightest bit artistic. When I told this to a friend she said, "Well, that's fine, Celia. As long as it's not fear."

Boy, did she nail it. It was fear.

And I walked through it. And here I am on the other side of it. Having created, with more help than I can adequately describe here, an artistic stadium show.

I'll be posting from Vancouver.

Inspiring Message of the Day: When we let fear hold us back we rob ourselves of life's most profound experiences. I will say "yes" to something today that I'm afraid of.

Tech it Out

2010-02-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

For those of you that are involved in any kind of show biz career you know that what we, in the industry, call "tech days" are some of the more challenging times in the process of creating a live production.

For the Big O Project, we've got two tech days and 2 shows on the night of the second one. Yesterday was our first.

Save for a couple of SNAFUs, the day went by smoothly and we finished early. One of the glitches we experienced actually bothered me quite a bit and, at one point, I was rather vocal in my vexation.

The situation was resolved at the end of the day and I got an apology for the mistake, which was great.

Upon retiring I reflected back on the day to the moment where I had voiced my distress. Albeit to comic effect, my punishing words were something to the effect of, "Please don't remind of this again because I'm going to poke a f&$%#ing stick in my eye if it gets mentioned one more time."

The perfectionist in me says, "Celia, do it better next time." The recovering perfectionist in me says, "You're allowed to react to stressful situations and you're a funny gal, in an acerbic kind of way."

I like the recovering perfectionist better. She gets my jokes.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Though I am committed to practicing "Restraint of Tongue" I will give myself permission to vocalize my frustration, when necessary!

Doctors Do It

2010-02-15T06:28:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

After five months of build-up we have arrived at the week of production/performance for the Big O Project and what I'm feeling can be pretty much summed up by the following two words:

Holy s&$%!

When it comes to the intensity of pre-performance time and, let's face it, the experience of the actual performance, I must use all the tools in the tool kit. Here are just a few: surrender, acceptance, fearlessness, humility, patience, prayer, meditation, relaxation, faith and trust.

The other day, I blogged about the documentary 65_RedRoses and there is one scene in that film that keeps coming back to me.

In it, the doctor who is about to perform the double lung transplant on Eva, the young woman in the film with cystic fibrosis, is alone in a locker room preparing for the surgery. He is nervous and he is pumped, pacing back and forth, shaking his arms, releasing the tension. Then he does something I never expected to see a doctor do. He gets down on his knees and prays.

Not only was it surprising to see a doctor, a scientist of medicine, pray in such a way, it was astonishing to be allowed into such an intimate moment in a person's life. Fantastic!

Here he was, an intelligent and skilled man (whom we later learn is one of a number of doctors who performed a record number of transplants over the course of those 24 hours), asking for help (strength, guidance, courage, steady-hands?) from Something Other Than Himself.

If there were to be a camera following me around this week you can bet it would catch me down on my knees, brothers and sisters, seeking that healing balm of Higher Guidance.

Holy s$%#!

Inspiring Message of the Day: My strength and courage come from a Power Greater Than Myself. I will continue to ask this Power to guide and carry me through the operation of my life.

Judge Judy Presiding

2010-02-13T08:34:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Some time ago, the rock band The White Stripes flew into Whitehorse to play a concert. I wasn't a fan, I'd barely heard their music and I didn't even really know how big they are in the music world, which is huge.

Sometime after their arrival, I got a call from a friend who is also a local reporter. "The White Stripes are going to play an impromptu concert in one hour at Lepage Park. Go." I went. They played, it was a crazy scene and I really dug the performance.

Well, I dug his performance. Jack White. He was dynamic and obviously really talented, not to mention hot. Then there was his sister, Meg. She sat on the ground beside him, hardly moving, never speaking, occasionally shaking a couple of percussive instruments.

As much as I hate to admit this, I wrote her off as lame.

Last night at ALFF, I watched The White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights, the documentary that was made as the band toured Canada. The footage includes the stop they made in our fair city and the Lepage park concert. It's a great film.

For two hours I watched this gal, Meg, whose character I had totally assassinated, wail on the drums with the speed and virtuosity of a true maestro. It was astonishing.

After the movie was over I cut myself a great big piece of humble pie and ate the whole thing, bite by bite.

Inspiring Message of the Day: The Diviners

Dying to be Human

2010-02-12T09:17:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

A friend who read yesterday's blog sent me an email that said: "Breaking news……You are not going to die."

He went on to say that the "real 'you' is ethereal, inextinguishable" and, as a result, there is no death.

I also happen to be studying a book by Emmet Fox called Power Through Constructive Thinking and the chapter I am currently on is called, Life After Death.

Fox writes, "There is absolutely no reason to fear death... The actual truth is that there is no death." He goes on to talk about alternate realities and the Greater Truth of Oneness.

"You have nothing to fear in life or death--because God is All, And God is Good."

I understand on a fundamental level that there is no death. And my friend's breaking news was not news to me. I must, however, allow myself to be human in this process of accepting this Higher Truth. In order to arrive at this place of fearlessness I first must acknowledge my fear.

It is simply not enough to say, "There is no death. I get it man. We're all One." Why? Because I'm human. I live in a body, here, on the earthly plane. That means I have an ego, it means I'm going to feel fear, it means I need to process information before I can integrate it into my personal experience of being.

When I was living in Ireland in the mid-nineties I had a lover whose parents had both recently died. One night, after too much Guinness, this lover of mine broke down in tears, grieving this terrible loss. Although I was physically responsive I remember having a conversation (AKA giving a lecture) about grief being useless because death was only an illusion.

No compassion.

We are human. We have to grieve. We have to feel. Accepting that I am connected to the Infinite is vital to my spiritual well-being but acknowledging that I am a person, with a sometimes complicated emotional make-up, will allow me to practice that most integral of spiritual agents: Compassion.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Breaking news: There is no death! I will practice allowing this deeper Truth to travel from my intellect to my emotional understanding, from my head to my heart.

Live Free

2010-02-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

It's ALFF time in our fair city and last night I got to see an amazing documentary called 65_RedRoses about a young woman living with Cystic Fibrosis. Talk about inspiring.

The main character, Eva Markvoort, is one courageous cookie. At one point in the film she is talking about the reality of her dying and she says, in essence, "You have to look at your own death, you have to feel that and go through it and then you can move on."

The beginning of my work as an Inspiring Coach can probably be traced back to the moment when I faced my own death, grieved the loss of my life and became willing to die. It was an awakening that has continued to help me to walk through my fear each and every day.

The discovery that my fear of death was actually the big mother fear at the root of all my little fears and anxieties led me to finally confront it head on. I've written about this experience before. I was on an airplane and the fear of crashing was so intense that I had no other recourse. I simply had to go there.

As a result of accepting the fact that I do not know when or how I am going to die I have been able to let go of many of the control issues, which, as I mentioned, stem from this underlying knowledge of my true lack of control.

My fear of death still comes up and I still have to practice letting go of the illusion of control but embracing death has brought a profound richness to my life. Without the denial of death's reality I am able to breathe freely in the experience of being alive.

Eva Markvoort looked her death straight in the eye. She accepted the reality of her dying. And then she got on with the business of living. She is the embodiment of courage, in my eyes.

Inspiring Message of the Day: By going to the very core of my fear I can be freed of the power it holds over me. I can walk through it, let go and move forward into a deeper and fuller existence.

Sweater Heaven

2010-02-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I shared the following post on Facebook:

"Celia McBride wants you to know that hand-washing your cashmere sweaters can actually boost your self-esteem."

Was I being facetious? Not entirely.

Sweaters love me and I love sweaters. I actually wear sweaters in July, much to the chagrin of my t-shirt loving girlfriends. Some of my sweaters need hand-washing and, like vacuuming (see earlier post), I will put this task off for as long as humanly possible.

A few days ago I finally started taking action to wash the four sweaters that so badly needed it. I told myself I could tackle the job one sweater at a time. And that is what I did. In baby steps.

First sweater came out of the closet and onto the chair. Then into the kitchen. Then into a pot with soap. Let it soak. That evening scrubbed and rinsed and hung to dry. Why not number two? Out of the closet, directly into the pot, repeat.

Four days later and the last one has been soaking overnight in the pot and will be hung to dry today. Not exactly OHIO, but progress, friends, not perfection.

Where does the self-esteem part come in? Well, after sweater number two, I felt good about myself for having done the thing I was avoiding. My energy shifted. I experienced satisfaction and pleasure knowing the job was getting done and I had taken the action necessary to do it.

Bonus track: four clean sweaters!

Inspiring Message of the Day: We can feel good about ourselves by accomplishing the simplest of tasks. Today I will take on a simple task in order to boost my self-esteem and feel the joy of accomplishment.

Take it Down a Notch (or Seven)

2010-02-09T08:49:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

As a result of some of the challenges I've been experiencing with the Big O Project I have had to do a lot of "right-sizing" both with my ego and with the job itself.

By "right-sizing" I mean putting things in their proper perspective. I'm a recovering extremist and the child of an exaggerator and much of the healing work I've done over the last decade has involved this process of shifting my perception back to the actual reality of the situation.

If you haven't seen Spinal Tap, the mockumentary by Christopher Guest, then surely you've heard the expression, "It goes to eleven," that comes from the movie. "Eleven" refers to the noise-level on the guitar amplifier belonging to the character of Nigel Tufnel, Spinal Tap's lead guitarist. All the other amps in the world go to 10 but his goes to 11.

Once, when I was in an emotional situation that seemed enormous, my friend said to me, "Celia, you come in at 11. Maybe you could approach this situation differently. Try coming in at 4."

In other words, RELAX.

So in the last couple of weeks I've gone from saying, "I'm in the middle of the biggest job of my entire life, it's just HUGE," to saying, "I happen to be doing a job right now that is asking me to operate on a bigger scale than I am used to."

Taking it from 11 to 4 has helped me to enjoy the process again, release the pressure, and right-size the experience. It's a job. Period. It will come to an end and then there will be another job. Period.

As much as Nigel drew pleasure from the extreme power of his amp, I am learning to draw pleasure from the power that exists on the middle ground.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Putting things in their proper perspective takes the pressure off and allows me to rejoice in the simple activities of the day.

The Present

2010-02-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

As the love and support continues to pour in for who I am and what I do I am truly humbled by the kindness and generosity so many of you have shown me. Thank you for being on my team.

Now a word (or two) on meditation...

Just over ten years ago I was looking after a couple of kids while their parents were away. Their mother had a yoga practice and although I had a knowledge of yoga and had been taught some of the asanas, I did not have a practice, let alone a devoted one. This particular mama had yoga video tapes and one morning while the kids were in school I put one on and followed it.

At the end of the practice it came time for savasana. As you may or may not know, savasana, AKA the Corpse Pose, is often the last posture to be taken in a class. It's the resting and restorative pose that allows our bodies to integrate and feel the benefits of the entire practice in which we've just engaged.

Lemme tell ya somethin', folks. Ten years ago, I could not relax enough to lie in this posture for ten minutes. I kept sitting up to see if I'd missed the end of it somehow. No joke. I'm lying on the mat going, "Come on! Are you serious?" and then I'd peek up at the tape again. At the time, those ten minutes felt like an eternity. I had zero patience.

Meditation is the art of being present. People think meditation means you have to clear your mind of everything and be some kind of a supreme being. No. It is the simple practice of being in your life as it is happening.

Yesterday I spent 12 hours in a studio working with a multimedia artist on our video for the Big O Project. Most of the time he was working on the computer and I was waiting for him to show me something. For twelve hours I was able to sit there and be present in my life as it was happening.

For a gal who could not lie down and be still for ten minutes this is a miracle.

I attribute this miracle to meditation. Learning how to sit still and breathe and observe my thoughts. It began by lying on a mat, sitting in a chair, doing NO thing.

As I developed an ability to do this much I carried the practice into my daily life. Being on the bus, tying my laces, doing the dishes, etc. Through the practice of meditation I've learned how to be present in my life as it is happening.

Impatience still comes up. I still look for distractions. I still avoid the stillness sometimes, not wanting to go there, not wanting to find out what I need to hear or feel. But meditation has changed my life for the better. It has landed me in my life, in my body, in this Celia skin, where I have learned to really love myself and others.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice meditation in all its varying forms. Lying down, sitting, breathing is just the beginning. I will practice landing in my life and being present to who I am and what I do.

We All Need Somebody to Lean On

2010-02-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

During a summer road trip with lover a few years ago the two of us were sharing some of the more intimate parts of our lives with each other while driving along the deserted highway. As we pulled over at a rest stop this lover got out of the car and approached me for a hug, saying, "I need life support." The sharing was that deep.

This expression is now one I use whenever I need a hug or an ear or a shoulder to lean on. I have to carefully choose to whom I say these words because not everyone is able to give life support. Sometimes the moment isn't the best either.

Yesterday I was in need of big time life support. I ran into a friend and, for a moment, considered saying it right then. But the timing wasn't great so I said nothing. Moments later, we were interrupted by a fracas and I was glad I'd held my tongue.

So I asked The Life Force Energy of the Universe for life support instead. I prayed for help. And I got it.

First, I received an invitation to tea, during which time I and a girlfriend chatted and laughed and listened to one another share. I was able to process what I had been through that day and come out the other side.

The second and third responses to my request came in the guise of voice mail messages. When I got home after the tea date there were two messages waiting for me. Both were from friends calling to tell me they love me, love the work I do and support me unconditionally.

Thank you, friends, for answering my prayer and for performing CPR on my self-confidence right when I needed it.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will reach out and ask for life support when I need it. I will trust that it will come back to me in unexpected ways.

Dispense with Defense

2010-02-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I got a call from the local press wanting to interview me about The Big O Project. I was expecting a friendly interview and what I got was accusatory challenge. Nice surprise.

Some of you will remember an earlier blog about the criticism surrounding the fact I hired a composer from Toronto to work with me as a co-writer on the Yukon Anthem section of the project. Well, the reporter who called me was bound and determined to shame me for doing so.

Most of the interview was spent explaining and defending my decision. I hung up the phone feeling sick to my stomach. But then I had an epiphany. (Don't you love it when you have moments of sudden insight after the fact? Big help!)

Here is what I realized: There is nothing to defend or explain. I acted according to my intuition, which is connected to Higher Guidance. Let them think what they want, write what they want, believe what they want!

Next time I'm asked to defend my position I simply won't.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I cannot convince the rest of the world to see things my way. If I know in my heart that I have made the best decision possible, that I have stayed true to my Highest Self, then no one and nothing can move me.

Be the Tree

2010-02-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Yesterday I received a couple of emails regarding the Big O Project that made me want to poke a stick in my eye so I shut off the computer and went to have a rest. My brain, however, wouldn't stop thinking so I got up and went to my friends' empty house and watched an hour of television.

Television is something I rarely look at. I don't have one and the only time I get to see what's on TV is when I stay in a hotel. Believe me, this is not about being noble. I'm actually a TV addict and abstinence is the only cure. I used to watch it when I didn't want to be watching it. TV is an energy-sucker and I would get sucked in for hours.

As we all know, there is a lot of crap on TV but there is also good television. When I turned the box on yesterday evening it was tuned to PBS, the American Public Broadcaster, and the show that was airing was Ken Burn's The National Parks: America's Best Idea.

Vanity Fair magazine had recently published a story about Teddy Roosevelt, the President who managed to secure so much of what is now National Park land in the US and I had read the article with interest. The part of program that was airing when I tuned in was describing precisely the same information as the VF piece had, which was a lovely bit of synchronicity to calm me down.

One particular shot from the show has stayed with me until this morning. A photograph of a group of men, Roosevelt and his entourage, standing in front of an ancient sequoia tree. Of course, you cannot see that it is a tree trunk behind them because it is too huge. It looks like a wall of bark. The camera simply couldn't capture it's breadth. The narrator tells us the tree is estimated to be 3500 years old.

When I get emails that make me want to poke sticks in my eyes it is of great benefit to me to remember things like 3500 year old sequoia trees. Ancient, steadfast, lasting stillness. It was here long before me and it will be here long after I'm gone. True Power. True strength.

When I measure the day-to-day minutiae of my life against the enduring Power of Nature I am humbled by how small my "problems" really are. What is really important? Yes, my work is important. But when I remember that my life is but a blink of the Universe's eye, everything is put in proper perspective and nothing can rattle me.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will not be shaken or stirred by life's "problems". In the face of frustration I will emulate the Power of the steadfast Sequoia.

Right Place, Right Time

2010-02-03T09:41:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Here is further proof that when we commit to working in tandem with the Life Force Energy of the Universe, this Force will support us and guide us in all that we do.

A couple of weeks ago I was in the middle of a pretty challenging situation and needed help to process my emotional journey through the mire. I have a Spiritual Director but she is currently hiking through the Yucatan and was not available.

Last month I had come across a pamphlet advertising a local woman's services as counselor/spiritual guide. I took down her number thinking I might need it one day.

When the s%&# hit the fan I called this woman's number and miraculously she was available to see me that day. I went to her office and we ended up having a great session. I left feeling as though I was on the other side of the inner chaos.

While in the session, I shared about my vision of fearlessness and my commitment to inspiring others to cultivate courage and walk through fear. I realized that part of what I was needing to process was letting go of the fear of disappointing people.

With all this talk of fear, this woman said to me, "I think I have something for you." She got up and went away, came back and gave me a book: The Fear Book: Facing Fear Once and For All by Cheri Huber.

"I picked it up this morning," she told me. "I didn't know why I was picking it up. I didn't think I really needed it -- I wasn't sure it was for me." It wasn't. It was for me.

Inspiring Message of the Day: The Power that is back of all things has my back. I trust that I am being looked after, guided, supported and loved by the One Who Sustains All Things.

Making Progress

2010-02-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

A friend sent me this prayer, written by a former slave:

Lord, we ain't what we want to be,
we ain't what we ought to be,
we ain't what we gonna be,
but thank God,
we ain't what we was.

This makes me think of "progress not perfection." In times of struggle, it can be difficult to recognize progress. I often get mired in what I'm not doing well instead of looking at how much better I am dealing with the situation than I did in the past.

One of the keys to being a great self-coach or our own best friend is to remind ourselves how well we are doing. We can never do this too often.

Maybe I'm not perfect yet but I'm on the healing path and I'm doing my best each and every day. Some days my best is better than other days. But that's okay, too.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I am doing really well today. My fear tells me I'm not, that I could be doing more. But I refuse to listen. No matter what, my best is good enough!

Give Yourself a Break

2010-02-01T08:03:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Awhile back, in a post called Run for Your Life I blogged about needing more cardio-vascular exercise. I made a commitment to myself that each Sunday I would run up a looooong outdoor staircase that we have here in our fair city.

So far, so good. I think I've only missed one Sunday and on that day I ran to the corner store and back to make up for it. For the fun of it, I've also started running to meetings or appointments instead of walking. I don't run all the way, just a block or two, but it gets my heart rate up and I get there faster, too.

Yesterday was an outdoor stair-master day but I decided to mix it up a little. Some friends of mine are out of town and they've asked me to check on their house once a day in exchange for the use of their car. Normally I drive to their neighbourhood, which is about a 45-minute walk from where I live, but why not run there instead?

Because I haven't actually "run" in years and years, I decided to set the bar as low as possible. Rather than pushing myself to run all the way there without stopping I decided I would walk and run.

This walk-and-run system is one I developed in Edmonton, where I once lived for four months. At the time, I had a "yoga" practice that one of my sisters called "Yoga Balboa", named for Rocky Balboa, the character in the Sylvester Stallone films. She once did the routine with me and, expecting asanas, instead got low-impact aerobics and stretching, hence the nickname.

Doing Yoga Balboa everyday will start the body craving for a more rigorous workout. So in order to satisfy the craving I started running. Again, I hadn't run for years, so the walk-and-run system was born.

It's a simple formula: run until you feel like you're going to puke and then walk until it passes. Repeat.

So yesterday I set out to walk-and-run to my friends' house. The weather was perfect. I ran until I was out of breath, walked until I caught it, and then ran some more.

There were moments when I was running and I felt really good! I remembered what it was like to actually go for a jog and enjoy it. My energy and stamina were surprisingly high and it was extremely satisfying to use my body this way.

I managed to make it there and back in less than an hour. Who says you have to jog the entire distance of a run? Taking breaks when we need them is just fine.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will take breaks when and where I need them. Going the distance doesn't have to mean full-speed ahead!

For the Tool Kit

2010-01-30T07:16:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

From September 1995 to November 1996 I lived in Ireland. I've got lots of stories about that time, enough to fill a book (or five). I was in my early twenties and it was a great time of learning for me. (Never mind the Guinness.)

In the last 3 or 4 months of my time there I was living and working in Dublin. I managed to get hired at a Spanish restaurant in Temple Bar, which is now a tourist Mecca but in the mid-nineties was just becoming the new local hot spot. The restaurant was owned by a man who was as Irish as they come and yet all the staff, except me and the Kitchen Porter, were Spanish.

I was amazed to learn that there is a huge Spanish-speaking population in Dublin. Many young Spaniards move there to learn English. Many stay. At the time, many of them worked at La Paloma.

One of my co-workers was a man named Pedro. He was the only man among a bevy of big-breasted, small-hipped, full-lipped, gorgeous Spanish women. Pedro had a good sense of humour and I was always glad when we had a shift together. He used to make me laugh.

Pedro's English was pretty good, comparably (a lot of the gals only spoke a few words), and whenever Pedro would hear me say a word he didn't understand he would ask me to explain it and I would. He would then say, "Everyday a new word," and smile with gratitude.

Over the years, I've taken to adapting Pedro's mantra for myself. Whenever I learn something new, something I did not know before, I say, in a bad Spanish accent, "Every day a new word." I really mean "lesson", of course, but it just doesn't sound as good.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a friend and she shared two amazing new tools with me. They come at a perfect time in my life, when I am having to be extremely vigilant about time management.

The first tool is this: Do the hardest thing first.

My friend and I were talking about to-do lists and I shared how I will often do everything that doesn't really need doing first and then not have time for the thing that actually needs doing.

I'm familiar with "first things first" but "do the hardest thing first" gives it a whole new spin. And although doing the hardest thing first makes me feel slightly nauseous I know it's the key to time management.

The second thing my friend shared with me is this: Only Handle It Once. OHIO.

For example, if you click on an email, answer it right away; if you take your laundry out of the dryer, fold it and put it away; if you open a piece of mail, answer it now.

OHIO, too, brings up the nausea. But it's because I know I need it and I know it will work.

Despite my fear of change, I'm actually feeling very excited about being given these new tools. Both of them are not entirely new strategies in my world but to have them presented in such a succinct, new way feels revolutionary. I've already begun to practice both.

Every day a new word! (Or two.)

Inspiring Message of the Day: There is always something to learn. I can overcome my fear of change by practicing a new behaviour knowing it will build my confidence and improve my self-esteem.

Get Up Stand Up

2010-01-29T08:37:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

The other evening I went to see Night, a play by a theatre company called Human Cargo. It was created in Pond Inlet, Nunavut, and deals with the challenges facing the Inuit people in contemporary culture.

The star of the show, Abbie Ootova, was a great pleasure to watch. Not only is she a natural actor, she has that thing of which stars of made: pure charisma.

At the end of the play, Abbie's character, who has been through the ringer with the accidental death of her mother by her father's alcoholism and the suicide of her best friend, rises up with fists and shouts, with tremendous emotion, "Stand up Inuit people! Stand up Inuit youth! We have to be strong!"

Although I don't think the words are exactly right I think I've got the gist of what she said. The effect was deeply powerful. Though I enjoyed watching the play I had been unmoved up until this moment in the end when Abbie exploded with the power of her speech and spurt the tears came a-streamin'.

The call to stand up and be strong, though particularly important for those who have been downtrodden by dominant cultures, must be heeded by all of us in the face of our fear. We all must rise up and overcome that which holds us back. It is our Greatest Purpose.

There is great healing to be done in all of us. Together we can overcome the collective wounds of our past histories. Let us stand up and be strong!

Inspiring Message of the Day: I will rise up against my fear today. I will stand up and shout for my freedom from all that I am afraid of. I'm not alone!

Good Timing!

2010-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

In the middle of this past December, my parents sent me a gift package from their home in the US, which is about 2800 miles from where I live. A few days before the 25th, my mother asked if I'd received the parcel. I told her I hadn't. Christmas came and went. No package. We passed through mid-January, a month since the posting, and I still had not received their gift.

"Did you get a tracking number?" I asked my mother. She hadn't.

"Should I send you something else?" she asked me.

"It'll come," I assured her.

The day before yesterday I received a FINAL NOTICE slip for a parcel. (Don't you love it when you receive a FINAL NOTICE and you haven't ever received an initial one?) I sensed that this was the package from my parents.

Yesterday I went to the post office to pick up the parcel. Sure enough, it was from my folks. On the customs sticker in my mother's unique handwriting was written "one book".

When I got home I sliced open the box and unwrapped the silver Christmas paper. The book staring back at me? Wait for it: Decoding the Spiritual Messages of Everyday Life.

Now if you did not read yesterday's blog post, Eye See, please go and do so now. If you did, well, you might now be as amazed as I am.

Think of all the things that had to happen for me to get this particular book on the very same day of that particular post. It's absolutely fantastic!

Inspiring Message of the Day: Trust the Flow. Everything is happening exactly as it should. If we can remember this in times of great struggle we can actually relax and let go of trying to plan everything ourselves. The Higher Plan is always at work!

Eye See

2010-01-27T09:17:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

You know how clouds can sometimes take the shapes of earthly things? We've all seen the cloud that looks like an animal or an every day object. Yesterday I saw an eye.

This eye was so big, it took up so much room in the sky and it was so real-looking, with the pupil and the upper lid clearly defined, the first thought that came to me was, "That's the Eye of God."

It was about 8:45 a.m. and I was driving out of town to work at a colleague's studio. The sun was just beginning to rise above the mountains. The nearest clouds were lit from behind with yellow light and a strip of hot gold ran across the length of the distant peaks, illumining their snow-covered edges. It was a staggering sight to behold.

Then I noticed The Eye. It was dead straight ahead of me, the new morning light shining through its centre. I obviously had to watch the road but I couldn't take my own eyes off it. I felt it looking at me.

Have you seen Avatar? One of the lines that has stayed with me from the movie (paint-by-numbers story, stunning cinematic execution) is something the Na'vi, the big blue creatures who live as One with Nature, say to one another: "I see you."

This Eye in the Sky seemed to be saying just that. "I see you."

For me, believing in a benevolent, loving Force of the Universe is one thing. Believing that this Force knows me and supports me unconditionally is another. It's the difference between faith and trust.

The more I have practiced trusting the more I have been shown that I have reason to trust. It's that simple.

You might say, "It's just a cloud," but when one's prayer is, "Show me your Presence," it's fun to believe that a big giant eye shining in the sky is the answer.

Inspiring Message of the Day: When we keep our eyes and our ears open to the spiritual messages, an everyday object can become a Power symbol, which can then serve as a reminder of Higher Guidance.

Brevity is the Soul of Wit

2010-01-26T07:37:00.002-08:00

Someday, when this blog becomes a book called Inspiring Works: 365 Days a Year, you, Dearest Readers, will get to this page and say, "They let her get away with that??"

Inspiring Message of the Day: Sometimes, when we are so busy that it seems like there are not enough hours in the day to get things done, we need to create little shortcuts to get through it!

You Just Might Get It

2010-01-25T06:17:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

"Be careful what you pray for."

Surely you've heard this expression. It means you might just get what you ask for and, in some cases, that can mean you will be challenged.

A few years ago, I read a great article about Jim Carrey in the New Yorker. He is a pretty spiritual guy, which some people may find surprising, and he was talking about prayer and meditation. He said, "When you pray for wisdom you get your butt kicked."

Why is that? Because the only way we become wise is by learning from our mistakes. Experience is the greatest teacher of all.

As many of you know, I pray for courage. A lot. And do you know what I get? Opportunities to practice walking through my fear. AKA some pretty serious butt-kicking.

How else can I become fearless? I always say the healing path does not work by magic. It works by work.

We have to do the work if we desire the reward. I have to walk through my fear if I desire courage. It's that simple.

One of my fears is the fear of disappointing people. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is create a situation whereby I have to conquer this fear. But guess what, folks? I am currently living out the aforementioned situation. Did I create it? Certainly not on purpose.

Be careful what you pray for.

The good news is that I am riding it out. This is where the tool of spiritual perception comes in. If I see it from a spiritual angle, namely that because I am committed to fearlessness my fears will manifest in order to be conquered, then I can handle anything that comes down the pipe. It's all for a Higher Purpose.

Not easy. Scary. Uncomfortable. But worth it. So worth it!

Inspiring Message of the Day: I am willing to see the challenges in my life from a spiritual angle. Challenges arise to teach me exactly what it is I've set out to learn. When I recognize this Truth, I can overcome anything.

How it Works

2010-01-23T07:56:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

This is how the Higher Power [or Cosmic Consciousness or the Life Force Energy or the Universe or God or whatever word(s) you're comfortable with] works:

The sh&% hits the fan and terror strikes.

I pray: Help me, show me, guide me.

I go to the Grace Cards. I shuffle and cut the deck.

The card on the top of the cut pile reads, "Patience: Trust in Divine timing. Your future holds something far greater than your past."

I look at the card on the top of the pile proper and it reads, "Affection: Love yourself. You are the ultimate act of creation, fashioned by the hands of a Divine Artist."

The card now on top of the cut pile reads, "Relax: Breathe. Everything is happening exactly as it should be."

I go out. I meet some friends. One of them reads from a book of daily meditations to start a discussion.

The reading says, "As always, we have a choice in how we will approach life's challenges. We can dread and avoid them as threats to our serenity, or we can gratefully accept them as opportunities for growth."

I come home. I bawl my eyes out, shedding the fear, getting it out of my body. I rise up, willing to move forward, ready to walk fearlessly into the unknown.

After a good night's sleep I awaken, alive and well, with the gift of another day ahead of me.

This life, friends, this journey, is a process of learning. We don't do it perfectly and some days are better than others. So glad you are there! Thank you.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I trust that there is a Higher Purpose to my life and if I ask, I will receive the Guidance I need to continue moving forward in its fulfillment. I will practice gratitude no matter what happens.

Say it Today

2010-01-22T08:50:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Someone I'm working with on the Big O Project told me he loved me yesterday. This is not a person I know very well, we've only had he opportunity to work together a few times but as he and his group was leaving he shouted, "I love you, Celia!"

Though surprised to hear him say it, I shouted back without hesitation, "I love you, too!"

Driving home I felt so darn happy I can't even tell you. I'd had a day of overwhelm and at one point during the afternoon I was feeling so numb you could have poked me with a stick and I wouldn't have felt it.

After making an outreach call for life support I felt better and headed into the evening session with the group to which this person belongs. We had a challenging but fruitful session and I was in pretty good shape. But this person's "I love you" filled me with profound joy and opened my heart back up.

When a person says, "I love you," it's like water in the desert.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I love you!

A Day in the Life

2010-01-21T08:27:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Last night I went to see a piece of theatre called Clarke and I Somewhere in Connecticut by Theatre Replacement. The show, which I've been hearing about for a couple of years through various channels is now on tour and came to our fair city for a short run.

In the play, a multi-media meditation on identity, copyright and ownership, a man finds a suitcase full of photo albums and travelogue-style writings and decides to create a theatre piece.

During the show's development, he seeks out the family in the photographs to get permission to use the memorabilia and he runs into all kinds of legal issues and roadblocks. These trials and tribulations are woven into the storytelling of the piece.

What struck me most about the work was that the creator of the piece cared enough in the first place about the contents of the suitcase to want to use them in some way to create art. To him, they were something so special, so beautiful, and so deeply weird, that he was compelled to go on a massive quest to be able to use them.

This got me thinking about the art of a life. If I pass someone on the street that person means nothing to me. If I were to examine his/her individual life through photographs and journal entries I would see that same individual in a deeper way.

When I am super-busy and wrapped up in my own life I often do a little exercise to help me get out of my self-centredness. I look at the Big Picture.

I remember that there are 6 billion+ people out there and every single one of them has a life as full as my own. Every single person is dealing with the details of his/her existence in the best way he/she knows how and probably feels that whatever is going on for him/her is monumental in some way. Every single person's life has meaning and depth.

What this kind of thinking does is remind me that nothing in my life is actually that monumental. My details are no more or less important than your details. My life in photographs would be as rich as your life in photographs. The actual content of the photographs, what is happening, where it's happening, is irrelevant. The scope of a life is not.

This is what last night's show embodied for me. The appreciation for the scope and art of a life.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Take a picture of yourself in a seemingly boring or mundane situation. Imagine someone looking at that photograph in the future. Imagine that person recognizing the scope and depth of your life from that image. Now embrace the scope of your own life today and do the same for others.

In Progress...

2010-01-20T09:33:00.001-08:00

Dearest Readers,

When I was 18 years old I worked at Mountain Equipment Co-op in Toronto. It was a really fun place to work because the staff were all outdoor-loving people who really lived the life they were selling.

One of our products for sale at the time was a t-shirt that said, "I don't care what you think." There were more than a few of us who bought one and wore it to work. That t-shirt made me feel cool. However, I always felt like a liar when I wore it because in fact, deep down, I did care what you thought of me.

About ten years ago, when I first got on the healing path, a woman said to me, "What other people think of me is none of my business." She was giving me a tool to counter the self-centered mind, the fear of other people's judgment, the people-pleasing perfectionist.

For years I have worked on letting go of what other people think of me. I've made great progress but I find it hugely challenging. It's especially difficult when critics say what they think of me in newspapers. Not only do I have to let go of what the critic thinks about me but what all the readers are going to think of me after they read the piece!

I've recently heard some criticism around the fact that I've hired a composer from outside the Yukon to co-write a Yukon Anthem for the Big O Project. It doesn't matter that I am the co-writer and I was born here, it doesn't matter that this person loves the Yukon with all his heart, it doesn't matter that the majority of Yukoners are not "from" here anyway.

It doesn't even matter that the song is called "Live in Peace"!

None of this matters to the critic. To the critic the song is crap because the composer is from Toronto.

"What other people think is none of my business." Folks, I'm a work-in-progress on this one today.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. We can't please everybody! If someone doesn't like who I am or what I do I will remember that it's none of my business and I will do my best not to take it on.

What's Wrong is Right

2010-01-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

This morning, the cat started meowing at 4 a.m. and didn't stop for 3 hours. Why didn't I just get up and feed him you ask? I thought about it in my half-asleep state but I simply couldn't move my body. Bone tired.

Finally, at 7:30, he staged a barfing session. I sat up with a jolt, as I usually do when he starts heaving up the hairball, ready to dash out of bed and set him on the fake hardwood so I don't have to clean the carpet. But when I turned on the light there was nothing to be seen. It was a false alarm.

Or was it? I got up, he got fed and I got to work.

Yesterday, a similar alarm-clock-alternative occurred when the phone rang at 7:19 a.m. It was a friend calling from Back East, forgetting the time change. At first I was miffed but then I was glad. If I hadn't received that call I might not have wakened at all and I had a ton of work to do.

It occurred to me both yesterday and today that Higher Guidance was in on these shenanigans. Both times, I needed Big Help to get out of bed. Both times, I got it.

When I see the world this way, it helps me. It can even turn my anger into laughter. Instead of being pissed off that I got woken up I can see it as funny. A barfing cat as an instrument of Divine Intervention. Hilarious!

Last night, I started to go into a panic about scheduling a video shoot for the Big O Project. Organizing a shoot time for 15 different people was not happening. I began to trying to think of a solution. How could I make it work? I could force it to work somehow, if I only tried harder.

Then I remembered this other way of thinking. What if everything was perfect already? What if that person couldn't make it because this other thing needed to happen? What if I were to move forward with things just as they were?

I shifted my perception. "The Universe is conspiring to make everything work exactly as it's supposed to." Trust and let go.

Total relief. Total surrender. Total freedom.

Who needs an alarm clock when you've got the Creator of the Universe on wake-up call duty?

Inspiring Message of the Day: When things appear to be going "wrong" I can turn them around by asking, "What if they are going right?" I can accept what is, and see it as perfect.

You Know You Gotta Have Them

2010-01-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

Have you heard the expression "ear worm"? I only recently learned it from Randy Bachman while listening to his Vinyl Tap program on CBC. It's a term that is used to describe a song that is stuck in your head.

Today I have an ear worm. It's from a 1993 song called "Dreams" by Gabrielle and the lyrics that are going round and round in my head are "Dreams can come true".

Over the weekend I had a little dream come true. I got to sing on a track being recorded in a studio. Headphones, in the booth, behind the glass, the whole nine yards. Remember that '80s Canadian show Thrill of a Lifetime? This was my Thrill of a Lifetime!

The best part about it was that I didn't plan it. The song, as I've posted earlier, is for the Big O project I'm working on and it involves numerous singers and musicians, all of whom have heaps of experience and talent. When the suggestion was made that I take a shot at one section of the song I was terrified by the idea but I didn't say no.

Despite the pounding of my heart and the jittering of my nerves, I gave it my best shot. I went into that booth and sang my heart out. Guess what? We ended up using it in the final recording of song.

This blog is just one piece of my overall vision to live a fearless life. So much of the work I've done in the last couple of years has been about clearing away the stuff that keeps me fearful, Old BS (Belief Systems) that tell me I'm not worthy of love, abundance or success. I do not do this alone. Mentors, sponsors, coaches, spiritual directors, you name it, I've got one.

By nurturing self-love, by doing the emotional and spiritual cleansing that the healing journey requires, I have found myself in greater and greater positions of abundance and success. As I've walked through my fear, my fear has walked away.

A few short years ago I would not have been able to sing in a recording studio. My Old BS would have sabotaged the situation. Fear of failure, fear of success. I would not have been able to hit the notes and I would have cracked under pressure.

But I didn't crack. I sang with confidence and ease despite the fact that I was nervous and scared. My new way of thinking, brought on by a rigorous adherence to taking care of my spiritual well-being, carried me through. And the Great Spirit. Let's not forget That.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Dreams can come true. But not by wishing. We need to do the footwork. I will continue to clear away the self-defeating behaviours that keep me in fear. I trust that if I am vigilant about this kind of healing work, my dreams will come true.

Crash the Pity Party

2010-01-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

My world has become very small in the last week because I've been in a recording studio every day co-producing an anthem for the Big O project. I've heard clips of news from the outside world but have not been really engaged in what's happening.

I knew there'd been an earthquake in Haiti but it took reading my friend Leanne Coppen's Living with Breast Cancer blog to actually Google and follow the story.

So I just learned that 3 million out of Haiti's 10 million people are right now without access to basic amenities like food, water, shelter and electricity. Three million. That's about the size of Toronto proper. Can you imagine that entire city's core in such a state?

How can I, on the other side of the world, living my tiny little life, doing my great big art project, respond to this in any kind of meaningful way?

Ignoring it is one reaction. "Oh, I can't do anything about it so, oh well."

Guilt is another. "Well, I can feel bad for what I have, at least."

I can send money. "It's the least I can do."

Or I can practice gratitude and rejoice in my life today. I'm alive. I get to live another day. I can take that in, deeply, and not take it for granted like I do most days. I can turn today into the fullest possible celebration of living by being thankful.

If you read Leanne's post you'll see that she has found a way to be grateful in the face of devastating circumstances. She crashes her own pity party by looking at what she has, not what she has not. This is the most inspiring message of all, anytime, anywhere.

Leanne's post reminded me that I have to count my blessings. When my life becomes so insular that all I'm thinking about is my stuff, I can't see the forest for the trees. I've become self-centred. I am blind to all that I have been given and I often focus on what's wrong rather that what is right.

I need to be reminded pretty much constantly to remove myself from the centre of the Universe, to step back and look at the whole picture, and remember that I am a part of the whole but not the whole part.

It's pretty easy to practice gratitude when I've got my basic amenities covered and I don't have stage four breast cancer. What about when the quake/cancer hits, when the rubble/chemo buries everything? When we are stripped of all that we hold dear? For what then can we be thankful? Leanne reminds us that it's still possible to find something and rejoice in it.

Rough count of blessings? About 3 million.

Inspiring Message of the Day: My way of giving back is to be grateful. To enjoy this day and live it, fully, as thought it were my last.

The Bank of Love

2010-01-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

The other day I heard a man talking about making mistakes. He had just read a recovery-oriented book and was greatly helped by what it had to say. One particularly meaningful passage for him described how to "capitalize" mistakes by overcoming them.

I like this. In this context, capitalize means "realize" or "convert into capital". What is capital? Assets. Wealth.

During the course of the Big O Project (my new name for the project I'm working on for the 2010 Olympics), I have made many mistakes. Like, a lot. A big lot. At one point in my life these mistakes would have devastated me. I probably would have given up. Or, at the very least, brooded for days. Mistakes, for the perfectionist, are acutely painful.

Today, as a recovering perfectionist, I have a different attitude. The old pinch can still be felt so it's not quite water-off-a-duck's-back but I am aware now. I am aware of my Old BS (Old Belief System) that tells me if I can't do it perfectly it shouldn't be done, or that I'm bad or worthless or stupid.

I'm also aware of a New Approach, similar to the one described above. I can react differently. I can choose a different path. I can say to myself, "I made a mistake. It's okay," and I can move on.

We are allowed to make mistakes! What a concept. How important, how vital to our collective well-being, is this statement! Perfectionist culture perpetuates nothing but shame and self-loathing. It says, "You're not good enough," and we buy in.

Apparently, next weekend in this town where I live there is a protest against our current Prime Minister and his decision to prorogue Parliament. Just between you and me, I'd rather march against perfectionism.

So how do we turn mistakes into assets? How do we capitalize upon them? How do we use them for personal wealth? By learning from them. By doing things differently the next time and not beating ourselves up in the first place. By sharing our experience with others so that they might avoid the same situation. By having compassion with our less-than-perfect friends, colleagues, and fellow beings.

These tools are capital for the bank of our individual and collective well-being. It's the best kind of investment we can make and the interest rate is sky high.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I'm allowed to make mistakes. If I make a mistake, I will acknowledge it, tell myself it's okay, and move on. From this I gain personal wealth in the form of self-love.

The Yoga of Change

2010-01-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

A couple of years ago I was having dinner with a fellow yoga instructor and after telling her about a recent transformation I'd experienced through doing some heavy-duty emotional/spiritual work I said, "I want to write a book called the Yoga of Change."

She thought it was a great title and whenever I would go through yet another big change in my life I would remember the vision of the book. Yesterday, I heard a story that could constitute another chapter. Call it "From Terror to Talking Proud."

The story was actually a speech and I heard it in a Toastmasters meeting. In earlier blogs I've mentioned that I'm a member of this organization, which helps people "to practice and hone communication and leadership skills."

I joined because I'm building my business as a professional speaker but Toastmasters is a kind of fellowship and I've gained so much more than I bargained for. It's fun, I've made business connections as well as friends, and my self-esteem keeps growing with every meeting.

The speech that triggered the idea for the aforementioned chapter was given by a man who went from having a debilitating fear of public speaking to landing a job where it was the number one required skill. Confidentiality is important at Toastmasters so I won't tell you exact details but I was absolutely astonished by the story of his transformation.

The Yoga of Change.

Yoga means "union" and specifically the union between the Divine Self and the Individual Self. The Yoga of Change, as I would have it, refers to the kind of change that either comes from actively seeking this union or the kind that unwittingly solidifies it.

I don't think this man was actively seeking to unify his connection with the Divine as he practiced getting up in front of people to speak but by doing so he made the journey from fear to courage. To my mind, he unknowingly unified his connection with the Divine by becoming fearless.

Change is not easy. I'm going through the biggest change of my life right now working on this Olympic project. Every day the fear rears its head and threatens to pull me back. But I do not succumb. I do not let it win.

Thank you to the man who gave his story of courage and hope. Inspiring works!

Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will use the Yoga of Change to keep moving forward, fearlessly, with the Divine as my steadfast guide.

Striving

2010-01-13T09:33:00.000-08:00

Dearest Readers,

As part of the project I'm currently working on, I have spent the last 3 days in a recording studio overseeing the artistic direction of a Yukon Anthem, which I co-wrote with a brilliant young musician named Bryce Kulak. We've been having a ball.

I'm a closeted songwriter. People often say to me, "It's so amazing that you're actually living your dream!" But the truth is, my dream is to be a rock star. I love singing and I love writing songs but my attempts to play guitar made it clear that I was better off staying in the closet, singing my little ditties to my sweater collection.

All that to say, having the opportunity to sit in a recording studio and observe the bevy of hugely talented Yukon musicians we've brought in to sing on the anthem is the absolute bees knees.

The song we've written is called "Live in Peace". Listening to all of these singers bring the words to life, over and over, hour after hour, is not only inspiring, it's sounding the call. Live in Peace. This is a call to all of us.

And it's a high call. Perhaps the highest call of all. Because in order to live in Peace we must practice Unconditional Love. Unconditional Love means no judgment. This is a tall order. Okay, it's bigger than a tall order. It's an XXX-Large-Super-Size-Venti order. Which is why I call it a practice. Because we can't do it perfectly.

When I was sixteen I did an Outward Bound course. Outward Bound is an outdoor "school" that teaches leadership and team-building skills. I did the course (a 21-day adventure north of Thunder Bay, ON) over twenty years ago but I have never forgotten their motto: "To Serve, to Strive, and not to Yield."

I love this. When I think of the call to Live in Peace, the call to live free of judgment and intolerance toward ourselves and others, I think of the second part of the Outward Bound motto. To Strive.

The dictionary on this computer describes striving this way: "Make great efforts to achieve or obtain something." Great efforts. Effort means "a vigorous or determined attempt." Attempt.

There is nothing about perfection in these definitions. Just make a go of it. Give it a shot. Do the best you can. Practice.

When we present the show next month our song will be launched into the world for your listening pleasure. I hope you sing it with us.

Inspiring Message of the Day: I can strive to practice Unconditional Love. When I make that effort, which is great, I get to experience what it truly means to Live in Peace.