They say hindsight is 20/20 and that perfect understanding of an event occurs only after it has happened. I experienced this form of awareness-after-the-fact last night after posting yesterday's blog.
There I was, writing about beauty, mystery and Spirit and what a magnificent world we live in and I was in a total fit of temper. I was completely exhausted, the cat was crying incessantly, it was getting later and later and I had to get up super-early to catch a plane. All of this was making my blood boil as I composed an Inspiring Blog!
It wasn't until after I fell into bed that the irony of the situation smacked me right between the eyes. How could I have expected to inspire others when I was feeling so uninspired myself? Am I a fraud for even attempting to do so?
Perhaps. But perhaps not.
Apparently Mother Teresa experienced profound doubt and depression during her long life of service. Did that lessen the effect she had on the people she was caring for? I don't think it did.
Believe me, I'm not comparing myself to Mother Teresa but I am interested in the idea that we can still help people when we are feeling helpless ourselves.
I once heard a story that Bill Wilson, one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, was in a very deep state of depression when he wrote one of the organization's most helpful books. Has this stopped the book from helping millions of suffering drunks? No.
But can we really be effective in service to others regardless of our own personal grief? I think Mother Teresa and Bill W. proved that we can. There was a time in my life when I believed that this wasn't possible, that only the purest of healers could heal. Today, I'm letting go of that rigid way of thinking.
Last night, while I was writing that blog, I was genuinely trying to create something inspiring. I was making an authentic attempt. The fact that I was not feeling completely inspired while writing it is then rather beside the point. Isn't it?
The amazing thing about all of this is that the blog ended up changing how I felt. As I lay in bed reflecting on all of the above, I remembered the Inspiring Message of the Day that I'd just composed. It helped me to connect to the Big Picture, let go of my irritability and relax into a place of peace.
Maybe that's why hindsight is 20/20. If the thing has to happen for perfect understanding to occur then I needed this experience to figure it all out.
Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to stay open to the idea that we can be of service to others no matter how we are doing ourselves. I don't have to be perfectly healed to take part in the healing of others.