Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Second Agreement

Dearest Readers,

I've been thinking a lot about rejection lately because I'm in this position of having to choose people to work on a creative project of which I am Artistic Director. It continues to be a challenge for me because of my own issues in this area.

Yesterday I blogged about deciding not to become a dancer because I believed I couldn't "make it". But I still went into a creative field that has brought me no shortage of rejection. It's not like I took the safe route and became an accountant.

There are many tools to employ when we've been rejected and believe me I use them all. "It wasn't meant to be" works really well. "There's something better in store" is another good one.

A few years ago I was introduced to The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, one of which is "Don't take anything personally." To use an expression by my friend and great storyteller Jim Green, "It's a gooder!"

Here it is, pulled from Ruiz's website:

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

For me, this is an excellent tool to employ when we feel as though we've been wronged, slighted, injured or hurt. Mind you, we are human, and we need to feel our feelings first. Once we have felt the feeling and identified it, however, it behooves us to practice the above creed. In my experience, it will save us from a lot of grief.

Inspiring Message of the Day: If I am rejected, I will first let myself feel hurt and then I will identify and name my feelings in order to give them expression. From there I can become willing to practice not taking the rejection personally. I deserve this kind of self-care!

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